I kept starting and exiting this turn-based medieval strategy game. Eventually I decided to actually play. Now, I was a soldier (though still dressed in everyday clothes) marching in line with my cousin from the TV room to the bathroom. To motivate us, our commander told us the last one to get to the bathroom would be killed. An ostrich rider fell noticeably behind, so upon reaching the bathroom, the commander pinned the ostrich down, and stepped on its neck ‘till it was dead. Now we marched back to begin some kind of Lego related battle game, and our base was the TV room (I have lego on the shelves there). My cousin Frodo suggested we loot the shelves while no one was looking.

Now I was at the kitchen sink downstairs, washing a suitcase to which had been attached a label saying owner had been accused of wife-beating and had to appear in court. I then handed it to Johnny Depp’s wife, telling her not to shoot the messenger (a message probably better addressed to Depp himself, but told myself he’d best be avoided at the moment, given he’d probably be mad) (an eerily appropriate statement, given I haven’t followed this story in the slightest).

Still downstairs, me and some others began wondering what the other team was doing that was taking so long. We knew they were in the TV room, and were waiting for them to strike. I guess I must’ve switched sides. I head towards the staircase to check it out when I see my cousin sitting on the steps, and below him, my brother pushing what I can only describe as a monstrous-looking black Lego lawnmower covered in Lego blades (though it does not function as such, serving more as a battle tank), with my cat sitting happily in a compartment on top. The siege has begun.