I don’t think it’s smart to reference Luke looking for the Jedi temple since clearly it was more of him wanting to find a place to hide out and die. When Han says it, in context of TLJ, it can kind of be interpreted as a vague rumor rather than what really drove Luke away.

I would keep the first paragraph from your last crawl but just tweak a few words here and there. I really liked what you were doing there. I also still love your third paragraph, especially the version from the last crawl.

Now the second paragraph, that is what is hard to deal with. I personally think introducing the super weapon is necessary in this paragraph.

Tomorrow I will put together a crawl that is mainly your first and third paragraphs from your previous crawl, with a reworked second paragraph that still introduces the super weapon.