I’ve stared at people for 5+ seconds before. Unless I’m actively communicating with them, I, a gross creep, fully admit to having creepy intentions. I’m trying to be better, but then again I still have lots of pictures of some of my cute/attractive friends on my phone that they aren’t aware of, so I’m not doing so well.
EDIT: Why yes, this post is a cry for help.
It doesn’t matter if you don’t have creepy intentions. It’s very easy to assume that you do regardless.
Intent absolutely matters, especially if it can put you on the path to unemployment. The feelings of the “victim” don’t cut it. Emphasis should be placed on intent and actual harm done to the person, not how they felt about it in the moment.
Human interaction is messy, and attempting to codify basic interactions like eye contact is absurd. I’m sure facial expressions as microaggressions will be here soon, if they’re not already.
Victim said:
“Someone made a mean face at me and I felt uncomfortable. I was unable to verbalize my feelings at the time like an adult would, so I internalized my trauma and now bring it to HR so you can deal with it for me, because it’s really me who’s the emotionally stunted one here.”
We’re basically training people to be socially inept. No more people-watching. Don’t get caught observing human behavior. Keep your face in your phone. If you become confused by the strange world of fellow humans, your employer will give you guidelines on how to behave if you accidentally make eye contact with someone and how to apologize if they feel threatened.
It’s all ridiculous and I feel sorry for kids growing up thinking this is normal. It’s not.