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That is a subject that upsets me a lot. I don’t believe in censoring things in context, when it is obvious the context is someone saying what a thing is, not actually “saying” it themselves.
If I hear that someone called someone else a ‘n_____’, and I talk about the incident, I don’t say, “Oh my god, he called that guy an n-word!” No, I say it full out. It’s stupid and dishonest to do otherwise. It reminds me a lot of when Anthony Scaramucci was recorded saying that Steve Bannon sucks his own cock, and then in all the news reporting about it, the reporters tripped all over themselves to avoid saying the word ‘cock’, using all kinds of absurd euphemisms and unclear language so they wouldn’t have to actually repeat it. It was laughably stupid and pathetic to witness. Either repeat the full quote, or only make a reference to offensive language having been used; don’t do this idiotic dance of trying to have it both ways. Just make it clear what the context is, so the use of the word can’t be willfully misunderstood.
In case it isn’t already clear, I absolutely do not condone the use of the word ‘n_____’ in any context other than discussing its use by racists. But I think it’s foolish to go to such lengths to avoid it that even an innocuous reference is treated as being equally appalling as when it is used as a deliberate insult. A while ago, people were trying to censor and/or ban The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn because it is used frequently therein. They apparently did not consider that they could explain to anyone who would read the book that it is set in a time and place when it would have been used frequently, and that avoiding this uncomfortable truth ultimately does more harm than trying to erase knowledge of it.
Black people have tried hard to ‘reclaim’ the word by using it to describe themselves and each other. However, given how offensive they still find it if a white person ever says it, even if it’s only in passing and not intended as an insult, it seems clear to me that this has not actually worked. None of the hateful sting has actually been lessened or dulled for them, at least going by what I hear and observe on the subject. Not being black myself, I am well aware that I cannot truly understand what it feels like for them to hear someone say that; and I wouldn’t presume to tell them how they should or should not react when it happens. But given that there has been an unfortunate rise in instances of white people using the word, many of them apparently unaware of the extent of its offensive nature, I think it would probably be best if no one ever said it casually, even black people. With its enormous proliferation in music and other art forms, is it any wonder that white people get confused and start thinking it’s okay for them to say it too? This reclaiming seems to have unfortunately backfired and caused use of the word to become more widespread.
I’m not saying this as a way to ‘blame’ black people for white racism, but the cultural mess we’re in over this subject is most unfortunate. It the responsibility of all people – whites in particular, given our history as oppressors, but nonetheless all people – to approach this subject thoughtfully and in an informed way. Don’t be afraid of something that still is, in the end, just a word; and don’t crucify someone for causing their mouth to emit certain syllables without looking at what they’re actually saying. Context is everything…