I had another idea about restructuring the battle part of Maz’s castle. Here’s how the scene originally played out:
-Rey stays behind to hold off the troops
-Han and Finn emerge and are taken prisoner
-Resistance arrives
-Rey fights with and is immobilized by Kylo
-Cutaway to trooper requesting air support
-Kylo senses the map, orders the division out
With this, it feels like Finn has forgotten about Rey since we don’t see him looking for her as she’s being roughed up by Kylo. Also, the Resistance arrives long before Rey is even immobilized by Kylo, meaning that the parallel narratives are not in emotional sync.
Here’s the old idea for what I was trying to do by giving Kylo some more agency:
https://vimeo.com/214272131
Password: rough
-Rey stays behind to hold off the troops
-Rey fights with and is immobilized by Kylo
-Han and Finn emerge and are taken prisoner
-Kylo senses the map, orders the division out on a whim
-Resistance arrives
In this, although the narratives are more in sync it feels like too much time passes between Kylo ordering the division out and them actually retreating. Also, his extra agency isn’t really worth the illogic of his action.
Here’s the proposed new version:
-Rey stays behind to hold off the troops
-Han and Finn emerge and are taken prisoner
-Rey fights with and is immobilized by Kylo
-Resistance Arrives
-Kylo senses the map, orders the division out (no cutaway to the ‘request air support’ trooper required)
In this version the narratives are emotionally synced and there’s a clear progression from one narrative jump to another without too much time passing between them.