I watched this edit last night. I haven’t read through the comments but here are my thoughts.

I think it works pretty well, This is the first time I had watched TFA for a year and I couldn’t remember too much from the original cut.

Specifically, adding the scene of Leia sending the girl to the other planet was good, as was the scene at
Maz’s castle with the Star Destroyer arriving rather than seeing the super weapon.

However, the problem comes with the placement of the Super weapon firing. The moment Han gets killed I did not want to be pulled away to nameless planets getting blown up. It weakens Han’s Death. Unfortunately I don’t see how much gravitas can be given to these planets. They mean nothing in the original cut and mean nothing here. It’s a shame because up until that moment the restructure was working great.

The impact of Han’s death should be played out with Chewey firing on Ren and all hell breaking loose, then cut to the destruction of the planets. Tricky because the music matches very well.

It’s a good edit, but rather than adding emphasis on the destruction of the Republic it just reduces the impact of Han dying.