Church is usually alienating for me, but today was painfully so and I’m sinking into existential despair. There was a guest band selling CDs in the lobby, ignoring that Jesus would flip their table. Then there was a guest speaker (did the typical staff get lazy?) that preached that good people watch Fox News, don’t pay attention to “fake research,” though didn’t cite sources for his own “research,” and rambled about “true disciples” vs. “converts and cultural Christians whose kids and grandkids are going to hell.” The worst part is that my parents got super emotional listening to this man, and I feel like they’re about to take another sharp right turn if you know what I mean. I feel horribly trapped and scared.
Once you’re an adult you’ll rarely have to get roped into going to church again. You’re a writer, a for now write a story about hypocritical church goers. Make it a comedy, or a horror, or something like that. Then you can enjoy church on the level of looking for something to write about. Or do something else. Just find a way to tolerate it if you’re going to continue going.