Okay I’ll lay it out for you. I won’t do any other method because a failed attempt would be worse than dying, human weakness would cause me to fail I’m sure. With a gun I need only to get in place for a moment and pull the trigger. I can’t get a gun due to being hospitalized with suicidal thoughts a few years ago.

The only reason I’m alive currently is because I’m on a list. Am I saying I would kill myself right now if I could? Maybe. I don’t know. Probably. But would I have at some point between the start of this year and now? Definitely. But it’s not as easy to get a gun on the black market as many would have you think.

But the praise and admiration for “how brave” I am stops here and now.