Possessed, i hope you can avoid the temptation to drink heavily again. I did worry about posting in the ‘what are you drinking’ thread because i don’t want to be a stumbling block for others. (But i am not so vain that i think i am the only influence on your life).
I think you are being too hard on yourself, I think you said once before that the doctors told you your body wasn’t in as bad a shape as you thought it was?
TLDR, you have a lot of good life ahead of you!