Story time!
For about 13 years, my dad has made my family perform a ritual in the morning of most days. It’s changed slightly over the years, mostly just by adding more half-quoted Bible verses for us to repeat after him in meaningless succession, but for the most part it’s been consistent. He has us stand in a circle and repeat things he says for a while and do stupid poses (the latter part was added a few years ago because he watched a TED talk or something), and then he brings up Ephesians 6:10-18, or Paul’s “Armor of God” metaphor. I say metaphor, though my parents would call that heresy, as they see the “armor” as a literal set of armor that we must physically place on our bodies every day. It’s a stupid, stupid ritual based on bizarre, ungrounded theology, but any time I’ve questioned it or even just not spoken in a tone that sounded convincingly enthusiastic or reverent, he gets pissed at me for “disrespecting God.”
TL;DR, being raised under entirely literalist theology is fucking exhausting.
Wow, that’s a powerful story. And yes, it sounds exhausting. I’m so glad my parents didn’t put me through that. Of course you want to respect your parents, and surely they think they are doing the right thing (and who knows, maybe they are - anything’s possible). But you also want to retain your sanity and perspective. It seems like you are doing a great job of both, and that someday when you are on your own (presuming that you aren’t yet), you will be able to construct a more balanced spiritual life.