A nice plan. I like that you’re not making the film completely devoid of humor (too many people apparantly hate fun), while removing the jokes that don’t make sense, like Kylo’s cowl or the BB-ST (how did he get in the cockpit?) How about adding a joke - a porg getting impaled by Luke’s lightsaber when the other one plays with it? 😃
As for Snoke’s death scene, how about keeping his dialogue intact but removing the shot of Luke’s lightsaber being turned?