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Post #1174627

Author
darth_ender
Parent topic
Am I a Bully?
Link to post in topic
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/1174627/action/topic#1174627
Date created
22-Feb-2018, 5:19 PM

DominicCobb said:

darth_ender said:

DominicCobb said:

darth_ender said:

DominicCobb said:

darth_ender said:

DominicCobb said:

darth_ender said:

oojason said:

I think many on here have some, if not varying degrees of all of those flaws you posted there d_e, yourself included.

If you’re going to try and use this thread to try and goad Frink - or carry on/escalate from the ‘[fill in the blank] Just Died!’ thread - then think on mate.

Of course we all have such flaws. But there is no doubt that Frink’s character is unique to this forum, usually in a pleasant sense, periodically to an aggravating sense.

However, I am not trying to goad or escalate anything. I was trying to follow mrebo’s advice from that thread:

Mrebo said:

TV’s Frink said:

darth_ender said:

To be honest, I genuinely feel you’re not as enjoyable or nice as you used to be. Or maybe I’m just nicer than I used to be, leading me to sit on my high horse. 😛

I think you and Warb are just suffering faulty memory, but ok.

Im getting flashbacks of the Luke Skywalker debate. I think Frink is as delightful as ever 🐣

I think we should give the dead the respect they deserve in this thread and not get bogged down in petty internecine fights (definition provided for Dom’s benefit).

I don’t see how I am goading him. I was not rude or disrespectful. I am trying to converse in a more appropriate thread about what I feel is a problem. I am handling it in a very adult-like fashion, and frankly, I don’t need a moderator to tell me how to talk with another adult unless things get out of hand. So far, I don’t believe we’re even close to that point.

What’s more, you swooped in on my comment in the ‘[fill in the blank] Just Died!’ thread because a lack of careful phrasing made it look like a portion of my comment was a broad generalization, even though the latter part of the comment should have clarified. You quickly corrected me and stated that I shouldn’t generalize (to which I agreed) and presumably accepted my point that liberals and atheists should be respectful of religious/conservative individuals who have died. Literally, you castigated me for not using the word ‘many’ in one of two appropriate places. Meanwhile, Frink’s disrespectful comments, both before and after that, received no moderation, and they were clearly far more offensive.

Following all this, I come to this thread to carry on what I hope will be a productive conversation and where Frink might actually acknowledge that he has been ruder lately, and whom do you call out? Me. Never mind the goading that Frink gives chyron8472 routinely. Never mind the harassment that he leveled against Warbler in the NFL thread leading up to the Super Bowl, refusing for pages to acknowledge that he should back down. Never mind the instances where he decides to pick on yhwx and where it clearly is hurting his feelings. Never mind his lack of remorse on most of these occasions. No, call out darth_ender, who 95% of the time tries to be the peace maker. I really appreciate that.

Regardless of whether or not I agree with you (which I actually do, to an extent), I don’t think making yourself out to be the savior of behavioral decency on the forum is really helpful to this discussion.

I love how that’s not at all what I was doing. What I was saying is that, considering how often I try to do the right thing, I don’t think it’s very fair that I am the one getting called out by a moderator.

Yeah and I wasn’t saying you shouldn’t say that. But when you say something like you’re a peace maker 95% of the time (or trying to be), it’s distracting. I almost just posted “95% of the time? Really?” but I’m trying to be a little more constructive.

Well, I kind of appreciate your effort, but that’s like Warbler saying, “I would normally sigh here but I won’t.”

Not if the rest of my post is explaining my issue your post rather than just scoffing at it.

Respectfully, far too often you try to make yourself out to be the only adult here. I know your intentions are in the right place, but it’s honestly kind of annoying.

Perhaps it was the wrong choice of words. What I was doing was acknowledging that I have my lapses and descend into fighting, but 95% of the time, I feel I maintain maturity and keep the peace. I don’t mean that I act as a policeman for others (because usually I just butt out), but I mean I try not to contribute to a problem.

I mean, honestly, I find you jumping in, and mostly critiquing me instead of the guy who clearly does more of the antagonizing, annoying. It’s almost you doing what you don’t like me doing. On the other hand, I don’t really care that much, and I’m just pointing it out because I do feel that Frink does get more free passes from peers and mods alike.

I only butt in because of that bone I had to pick with your post (I appreciate your clarification).

If it wasn’t for that I literally just wouldn’t have commented. I really don’t have anything to say against the rest of your post. I personally don’t think Frink is a problem and I certainly don’t think he’s any different than he used to be. Sometimes he goes too far but then he reins it in. You said your piece and that’s fine. I don’t have an issue with that.

Again, my point is just that when you make yourself out to be more mature or whatever, it’s annoying. I don’t think you can really say that that’s what I was doing by criticizing you, mostly because my goal on this forum isn’t maturity. I like being silly and sarcastic. When I’m at work, I don’t have much opportunity for that besides on here. That’s part of the reason why I find that kind of thing you do sometimes to be annoying.

I’m silly and sarcastic and even tease quite a bit, so I don’t understand the feeling that I try to be high and mighty. I just try to be respectful, and when I realize I’ve crossed a line, I try to apologize quickly and back down. Now that I’ve said this, maybe someone will say I’m trying to toot my own horn, but what I am actually doing is trying to admit that I make mistakes, but honestly say that I try to correct them.

Let me give an example. A month or so ago, I made a joke about menstruation. TV’s Frink, who has made his fair share of crude jokes, said, “I expected better from you,” or something very close. Now, I didn’t interpret what he said as being ‘holier than thou’. I made a joke that someone thought was tasteless or offensive. I apologized and edited the post. But TV’s Frink has made jokes that I have found offensive and unnecessary. Sometimes, I see it hurting someone else. I see the individual being picked on ask for him to stop, and instead, he continues to push buttons. Sometimes, he apologizes, but most of the time, he does not. This is not me trying to look better than him. This is me trying to say, “Look, you are calling me out on my faults. It would be nice if someone called him out more because I see far more people hurt by his behavior than mine.”

I respect if it’s not your intention to seem high and mighty, but I’m certainly not the only one who’s felt this way, so I don’t think I’m imagining it - to some extent it is on how you’ve acted.

Well, as I stated in my previous post in reply to yhwx, I think I know why I am perceived that way. I will accept your criticism, even though I don’t fully agree. As I often do in real life, I will apologize for whatever irritation it caused you or anyone else.

Now, I have a feeling that very sentence will warrant the feeling of, “Oh, high and mighty _ender thinks he is the only one who apologizes,” from someone (not necessarily you, Dom). Again, that is not my intent. I just would rather get along well and be the one to eat crow than continue bickering with people I’d rather get along with. It is hurtful when I feel like my apologies are one-sided. I do feel that I often suck it up and apologize, and those who have offended me don’t always do so as willingly. But on the other hand, I’d rather have peace.