Possessed said:
I’m so overwhelmed with life I seriously feel like I can’t bear it. I so badly want to shut it off but I can’t. I can’t relax. I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. I can’t shut the thoughts off.
I’m 11 days without alcohol still but that isn’t even the problem. I don’t feel cravings or temptations to drink at all. It wouldn’t make me feel any better, my problems are with real life and it’s almost too much to bear. I’m sure the recent quitting of alcohol is making me feel overall worse since actually feeling so much is new but I don’t even care I don’t need a drink, I need my life back. I don’t want to keep living with this pain.
No one should have to feel like that, I wish that you come through this well and as soon as possible.
I don’t know the full nature of your problems, and though I wouldn’t say my life is going perfectly I haven’t had experiences anywhere near yours, but I would still like to share my thoughts about this. I hope I don’t come across as presumptuous.
First of all, it’s good to see that you are willing to share these feelings here. Talking about it is good. Professional help is one way, but anyone that will listen can be helpful. I’m glad this thread exists.
And I hope you can find the strength to take steps toward changes in life, momentary changes and long term changes. I’m happy to see that you have already taken huge steps for the better. You can strive to change the things you feel bad about, and in the meantime distract yourself from dark thoughts. Music, movies and games can be one distraction of course. Creating something can be another. I recently came across your thread about your music, which I enjoyed! Very skillful. I make music too, and I find that I easily forget everything else once I get into it. Getting lost in something like that from time to time is probably a great thing.
Any kind of experiences that stick out from the usual can also be helpful, I think. A walk, a cold shower, good food, visiting someone or going away somewhere, trying a new hobby. I just hope you can find a break from bad things and dark thoughts in some ways like that.
Anyway, I don’t know you, you don’t know me, but I hope you will get better soon. That is all.
Oh, I would also like to say a small silly thing to you which recently was said to me in all seriousness by another member of the forum. It actually felt really nice to hear it, as I don’t think anyone had actually said that thing to me before (and actually meant it), so here goes: May the Force be with you!