Dr. Krogshöj said:
THE FORCE AWAKENS
The last of the Jedi Knights has
vanished. In his absence, the
NEW REPUBLIC is blind to the
menacing threat emerging from
the remote fringes of the galaxy.
A mysterious leader has unified
the remnants of the fallen
Empire under the banner of the
FIRST ORDER and resolved to
build the deadliest weapon the
galaxy has ever seen.
The only force standing in their
way is a brave RESISTANCE led
by the war hero Leia Organa.
Desperate for allies, the vigilant
general has dispatched her best
pilot to find traces of last Jedi…
I quite like it. Even though I know you followed most of this, here’s a very good and interesting guideline:
Something I wanna include though is my pet peeves on the language of the crawl. ANH and ESB follow all these rules, and RotJ follows most of them. The prequels and the sequels break a lot of them, but since they’re prequels and sequels, they’re not really good examples of what Star Wars is.
-There are three paragraphs.
-The first paragraph has one short sentence, and one long sentence. (Broken by RotJ)
-The other two paragraphs are one long sentence each.
-The last paragraph ends in an ellipsis.
-This ellipsis is 4 dotted. (Broken by RotJ)
-The first paragraph gives a general description of the state of the galaxy, the second paragraph gives a more relevant description of the state of the galaxy, and the third paragraph describes the opening scene. (Broken by RotJ, but it doesn’t stray too far)
-Maximum one capitalized phrase in the crawl.
-This capitalized phrase covers important, new information central to the more specific plot of the movie (Broken by RotJ, but again it doesn’t stray too far)
Thank you! To be honest, I wasn’t aware of these rules conciously. Funnily enough, the forum engine auto-corrects my four-dot ellipsis to three dots. 😃
As for the capitalization, I blindly followed the ways of the theatrical crawl. Now that I checked them, TESB, TPM and ROTS don’t seem to have anything capitalized at all. Ironically, if I had to chose one thing to capitalize in this version it would be “LAST JEDI” at the end. Or nothing at all, a la Empire. Or all three, as a small homage to the theatrical crawl.