First thing I’d do is what any sensible pauper should do once they come into money — buy a house. Since Vancouver Island reportedly has the mildest climate of all of Canada, I’d move there, find a nice medium-sized house located next to a beautiful lake in a peaceful rural area, and buy it.

Then I’d give my mother, father, and sister 1 million dollars each. How they choose to spend that money is no concern of mine; I’d never have to see any of them again.

I’d then bolster my film/music/book collection. I’d seek out and buy all the movies/albums/novels/graphic novels/etc. I’ve desired to own but haven’t had the finances to purchase. I’d seek out and buy a LaserDisc player, just for the novelty of it. I’d have the finest sound system/home theatre set up in my house.

Once that was all taken care of, I’d hire a personal trainer to help me whip this flabby flesh into shape.

I’d have my PT rewrite adapted into a graphic novel trilogy. I’d contract George Perez to do the pencils and Karl Kesel to do the inks.

Since I still would have an interest in becoming a filmmaker, I’d use my newfound wealth to finally get started on that. I’d start reading books on filmmaking, learn the tools of the trade, and buy cameras and associated equipment so I can shoot my own experimental films.

In my leisure time, I’d like to read the sacred texts of the major religions and the works of people like Søren Kierkegaard, Carl Jung, Paul Tillich, Alfred North Whitehead, Simone Weil, etc. to familiarize myself more with their philosophies.

Finally, I’d like to meet a woman — an intelligent, spiritually aware woman with a strong, beautiful soul. I’d like to marry her and create a family with her.