In this version it is implied that it gets multiple shots out of “the Sun” it has drained, so something different is going on to prepare for the second shot than the first.
That seems logical. In my opinion, introducing a second target after the first target is destroyed so late in the film still feels off, almost like a second climax. But that is a relatively minor issue compared to all the problems you fixed in this edit. I cannot wait to see how you tackle The Last Jedi.