I don’t see it that way.
Even if the plan was never revealed to Poe (so he cound’t possibly have reflected on the inevitable reactions of his flyboy plan, because of bad leadership) the other contents of the movie point the same way: don’t try to help your neighbor. Save yourself. Evacuate the ship. Live and fight another day. Reclude in your own island. Isolate yourself and don’t expand on others.
It’s not that much about obedience as it is about passiveness and accepting what comes from outside. Which is logic because the movie is to me in most of its layers an attack on the male gender role. Don’t relate to what happens outside of you, don’t seize the outer world. Look inside your womb, balance inside you, etc.
From such a passive (call it feminine?) POV, Luke’s attempt to redeem a not-willing-to-be-redeemed Vader is just an invasion, and that’s Rey closing the door on Kylo. Only you can save yourself because I won’t move a finger for you.
No more social links out of selflessness. Is that (which is also, as this is a wide cultural message) a true society?