I liked the Canto Bight stuff. It may have made the overall tone incosistent, but I needed a bit of a breather sometimes after how heavy the main stuff got sometimes. Plus: Benecio Del Toro! Benecio Del Toro!!! I think the scene where they call Maz before going and she’s in a “union dispute” was weak. That might’ve been my least favorite scene in the whole thing.
.
“hello, I’m Poe” to Rey at the end, setting up a relationship.
Didn’t they already meet during TFA ending ? (you know, when they complete the map, they are in the very same room looking at the very same map…)
If TLJ tells anything, it’s stop trying to figure out uninteresting things and stop elaborating lame theories.
blabla Snoke blabla Rey’s parents blablA Maz blablabla…
(Johnson is trolling SW fans like a Master… it’s so funny reading reviews of his anti-SW flick 😃)
But there’s a difference in speculating based on reasons of obvious foreshadowing - such as what I mentioned, and just something I think might happen based on no substanial evidence.
WHAT HAVE I DONE?
The Ancient Lore
Kenobi: A Star Wars Story
Harry Potter Revisited
Game of Thrones Film Edits
Titanic Restructured
… and more.
With JJ back in business yeah, things are going back to “normal” again I guess with IX (my favorite theory is that Johnson hates JJ and TFA 😄)
What a weird ST anyway (I don’t really care since SW is dead with fan films such as TFA and R1 but I love the way RJ “destroyed this weak and foolish ST” 😃)
Maz did seem kind of shoehorned into this.
Where were you in '77?
Maz did seem kind of shoehorned into this.
Could have been worse, I’m glad it was just a holocameo.
Canto side plot bothers me because the whole point of going there just seems so off. It really feels like, “Huh, what, you’re going to some planet you’ve never been to, to find some random person you’ve never met before, to do this really important thing; meanwhile you’re on a tight schedule because your ship is low on fuel?” Wouldn’t the smarter course of action to follow would be to fetch for reinforcements? I don’t know, it’s hard for me to rationalize the reason the story went in that direction. BB-8 sure was a miracle worker in this film, so it might as well had found some way to download codes. You know what?! Why wasn’t the plan to begin with? R2D2 saved the cast so many times because of its hacking/decoding skills. BB-8 looks just as capable. The plan should had been Rose’s job to cloak the shuttle or whatever, and sneak BB-8 aboard. Risky? Yep. But hell a lot less traveling and best of all, you have a trusty droid aboard the big bad ship to do some real damage internally, and maybe even give the heroes some time to stall the attack.
Going to some unknown place for this unknown person just doesn’t work.
The Rise of Failures
“Huh, what, you’re going to some planet you’ve never been to, to find some random person you’ve never met before, to do this really important thing; meanwhile you’re on a tight schedule because your ship is low on fuel?”
A ship low on fuel… a GPS device to destroy… a stop at a Casino… a codebreaker to hire… Star Wars VIII: The Fast and The Furious IN SPACE !
I don’t see how they could possibly have a non-Lando character in there if they didn’t go to that casino planet…
I came out of it feeling… empty. Sure, it’s enjoyable on its own merits, but the excess comedy and frankly quite drawn-out cop-outs leave something to be desired. I didn’t hate the Pogs, they were just sort of owls without beaks. I like owls.
“I can’t believe I’M gone.”
Also, Ade Edmondson was in it, apparently! He’s always good.
Ol’ George has the GOUT, I see.
Did anyone catch Joseph Gordon-Levitt in this? I didn’t, will look again tonight.
Ahh, my strong suspicion was correct! On the second viewing, I strongly suspected the this particular alien.
“Ayup, those are the shuttle parkers,” Slowen-Lo drawls as the police capture our heroes over a parking violation.
http://ew.com/movies/2017/12/17/star-wars-last-jedi-spoilers-mark-hamill-second-role-easter-eggs/
Did anyone catch Joseph Gordon-Levitt in this? I didn’t, will look again tonight.
Ahh, my strong suspicion was correct! On the second viewing, I strongly suspected the this particular alien.
“Ayup, those are the shuttle parkers,” Slowen-Lo drawls as the police capture our heroes over a parking violation.
http://ew.com/movies/2017/12/17/star-wars-last-jedi-spoilers-mark-hamill-second-role-easter-eggs/
Same actually. Sounded like JGL doing a southern kinda accent.
I came out of it feeling… empty. Sure, it’s enjoyable on its own merits, but the excess comedy and frankly quite drawn-out cop-outs leave something to be desired. I didn’t hate the Pogs, they were just sort of owls without beaks. I like owls.
“I can’t believe I’M gone.”Also, Ade Edmondson was in it, apparently! He’s always good.
Pogs.
Porgs.
Know the difference. And knowing is half the battle! 😉
Where were you in '77?
The Last Jedi: A movie made for stupid people with ADHD
by The Star Wars Reviewer
Lost somewhere in the middle of this interminably long, disjointed, boring, and often cringeworthy construction of a heretical film, there was an especially poignant - if unintentional - scene. Luke Skywalker, the now grayed and bearded old Jedi master, reunites with his long time trusted droid, R2-D2 aboard the Millenium Falcon. Forty years ago, it was this duo that first met in the original Star Wars film, when the droid’s iconic hologram message from Princess Leia, “Help me Obi-wan Kenobi, you’re my only hope!” captured Luke’s attention and sent him on his way, battling for freedom against the evil forces of the Galactic Empire.
During that first meeting, Luke was a young, fresh-faced hero. He was brash. He had his entire life ahead of him, and he wanted nothing more than to leave his middle-of-nowhere existence and find adventure and greater purpose in life. The beautiful Princess Leia’s message was urgent. Her desperation was a call for immediate action, to save her, to save everyone in the galaxy, and Luke was ready and able to accept that heroic task.
Fast forward many decades to this latest abomination of a Star Wars sequel, The Last Jedi, and what director Kathleen Kennedy gives us…erm, I mean director Rian Johnson… is yet another tired retread. More calls for nostalgia. A very visibly aged, yet distinguished, Mark Hamill (Luke) looks around the set of the ship, acknowledges he wants nothing to do with the plot that these writers have drawn up, and then watches the famous hologram before telling his sidekick, “Those were the good old days, huh? Is this what Star Wars has really become?”
No, of course Luke did not say those words, but the audience could hear him thinking them out loud anyway. In the middle of another bad movie, one with so much clutter and attention-distracting junk filled all over the screen, one that felt like an unfortunate mashup of Spaceballs meets Marvel Superheroes, this one scene was the only thing that felt like Star Wars really should feel like. It was vintage, plucked from another time, from a galaxy far far away, and inserted for reflection into a highly corporate toy and game commercial. To answer the pertinent question: yes Luke, like Sitting Bull doing racist stage performances for white men in Buffalo Bill Cody’s Wild West show, mockery for corporate money is indeed what you and Star Wars have become. Well done.
The Last Jedi starts out with perhaps the single most mustache-twirling villain of all mustache-twirling villains, General Hux (Domnall Gleeson), commanding a fleet of the generically evil First Order as it pursues Princess Leia (the late Carrie Fisher) and her band of freedom fighters across the galaxy. The audience is treated to space pursuit shots, followed by close ups of Hux sneering one liners into the camera. Then the audience gets to see more space pursuit shots, followed by more sneering one liners. General Hux honestly feels like a parody James Bond villain, taken straight out of an Austin Powers movie–inspiration The Last Jedi returns to over and over again.
The rest of the plot continues as follows:
After the evil villains engage in off-tone comedic buffoonery (wait, what??) reminiscent of Dark Helmet and Colonel Sandurz, the less than intimidating bad guys counter-intuitively manage to blow up the protagonists’ main ship, killing (General) Princess Leia in the process. But wait…what happens next? What happens next could best be described as Leia’s Space Jesus Moment, where her dead body floats through space and then magically comes back to life. She extends her arm forward and flies across the darkness, until she reaches the safety and oxygen of another friendly ship and its intensive care unit. She then sleeps in a coma until the end of the film.
After this bizarre and awful opening, the story cuts away to a remote island location, where Luke Skywalker is hiding like a coward from his enemies, abandoning his friends, and having visions of that one time where he tried to murder a young boy. Ha ha! But if that doesn’t sound like Star Wars to you, don’t worry, the good filmmakers at Disney have so much more! There are cute and cuddly CGI animals which multiply like rabbits all over the screen. You are sure to notice them, so make sure you look in the online catalogue and buy, buy, buy! There is also bathroom humor. And AT-STs. And Yoda, there has to be Yoda. Now Disney can merchandise him too!
Meanwhile, talented Jedi-in-training Rey (played competently enough by Daisy Ridley) has sought out Skywalker’s help and instruction at his remote medieval fortress. She needs to become stronger in The Force if she’s ever going to beat that Kylo Ren bad guy (Adam Driver) who she already beat in the last movie. Or maybe she needs Luke to come out of retirement and defeat CGI monster Supreme Leader Snoke, who dresses like Goldmember from another Austin Powers movie, and gets killed with little effort by…you guessed it…the bad guy Rey already defeated before.
So much for challenging our heroines, huh?
But difficult challenges would only serve as distractions from what really matters in these movies, and that’s all of the bullshit that has been intentionally designed to sell something to every demographic Disney can possibly imagine. The days of Star Wars invoking archetypes and its stories serving as communal bonding experiences that drew people together through common struggle are long since gone. Watching these new films is like watching a series of commercials while on an amusement park ride. There is some Star Wars-y stuff here, and some things that kind of resemble Star Wars over there. But even if you come across a scene you like, there is no time to let it breath or develop on its own. The car must quickly whisk you away, because after all, there are many more attractions that must be seen and many more products that must be sold.
Just beware of the warning signs: stay off this ride!
0 out of 4 stars
(this was personally the worst Star Wars movie I have ever seen)
This review was another personal favorite of mine:
Couldn’t agree more!
Whoever voiced the Mon Calamari character in Rogue One didn’t sound too different from Ackbar.
I didn’t realize it was someone else. Whoever that was could have done it for this. I agree, by the way, it would have had a lot more weight if it had been him. Either way, I thought the silent visual of the rebel ship hitting the First Order ship was absolutely fantastic. Second only to the shot of Leia looking out from the base on Crait. The total solitude of that shot was VERY moving.
Full review later.
Very very interested to hear your full review of this, Anchorhead.
War does not make one great.
Hello StarWarsReviewer! Glad you could come to here to accurately diagnose me as a stupid person with ADHD.
The Last Jedi: A movie made for stupid people with ADHD
Stopped reading right here.
Hello StarWarsReviewer! Glad you could come to here to accurately diagnose me as a stupid person with ADHD.
I love you
Hello StarWarsReviewer! Glad you could come to here to accurately diagnose me as a stupid person with ADHD.
I love you
Both those reviews are terrible.
"The beautiful Princess Leia’s message was urgent. Her desperation was a call for immediate action, to save her, to save everyone in the galaxy, and Luke was ready and able to accept that heroic task."
Uh no, Luke told Ben he had to stay on Tatooine and help Uncle Owen. Wasn’t until Aunt Beru and Owen died did he decide to follow Obi-Wan. His main motivation wasn’t even to save the Princess, it was to learn the ways of the Force like his father. Like jeez, yeah the OT is amazing, but some of these journalists are embarrassing themselves by increasing the tint of those rosey glasses.
The second review is just plain awful too.
"No. Owen and Beru get killed, Luke arrives just in time to find their charred bodies, looks sad for a second and tells Obi Wan, “I want to learn the ways of the Force and become a Jedi like my father.” Then he f***ing gets on with it and doesn’t cry like a [non-gender-specific person] for two-and-a-half hours."
It’s as if the writer is implying Star Wars is some macho manly series devoid of emotional pull. I mean, Luke is whiney in ANH about wanting to get off the rock, but still wish washy about going with Obi-Wan to Alderaan prior to seeing his family die. God forbid I mention Luke’s “NOOOOO” in ESB.
I’m not a fan of the Last Jedi currently, and maybe that’ll change. Sure, point out the tonal and comedic differences, or how more market-heavy these films have become, but you can do that without this silly commentary that raises the OT to this untouched masterpiece, at least to the extent where it’s misplaced as pointed out above.
The Rise of Failures
The Last Jedi: A movie made for stupid people with ADHD
by The Star Wars Reviewer
I mean, sure I’m a bit stupid sometimes, but I’ve never been diagnosed with ADHD, and it was still a great movie.
Not enough people read the EU.
The Last Jedi: A movie made for stupid people with ADHD
by The Star Wars ReviewerLost somewhere in the middle of this interminably long, disjointed, boring, and often cringeworthy construction of a heretical film, there was an especially poignant - if unintentional - scene. Luke Skywalker, the now grayed and bearded old Jedi master, reunites with his long time trusted droid, R2-D2 aboard the Millenium Falcon. Forty years ago, it was this duo that first met in the original Star Wars film, when the droid’s iconic hologram message from Princess Leia, “Help me Obi-wan Kenobi, you’re my only hope!” captured Luke’s attention and sent him on his way, battling for freedom against the evil forces of the Galactic Empire.
During that first meeting, Luke was a young, fresh-faced hero. He was brash. He had his entire life ahead of him, and he wanted nothing more than to leave his middle-of-nowhere existence and find adventure and greater purpose in life. The beautiful Princess Leia’s message was urgent. Her desperation was a call for immediate action, to save her, to save everyone in the galaxy, and Luke was ready and able to accept that heroic task.
Fast forward many decades to this latest abomination of a Star Wars sequel, The Last Jedi, and what director Kathleen Kennedy gives us…erm, I mean director Rian Johnson… is yet another tired retread. More calls for nostalgia. A very visibly aged, yet distinguished, Mark Hamill (Luke) looks around the set of the ship, acknowledges he wants nothing to do with the plot that these writers have drawn up, and then watches the famous hologram before telling his sidekick, “Those were the good old days, huh? Is this what Star Wars has really become?”
No, of course Luke did not say those words, but the audience could hear him thinking them out loud anyway. In the middle of another bad movie, one with so much clutter and attention-distracting junk filled all over the screen, one that felt like an unfortunate mashup of Spaceballs meets Marvel Superheroes, this one scene was the only thing that felt like Star Wars really should feel like. It was vintage, plucked from another time, from a galaxy far far away, and inserted for reflection into a highly corporate toy and game commercial. To answer the pertinent question: yes Luke, like Sitting Bull doing racist stage performances for white men in Buffalo Bill Cody’s Wild West show, mockery for corporate money is indeed what you and Star Wars have become. Well done.
The Last Jedi starts out with perhaps the single most mustache-twirling villain of all mustache-twirling villains, General Hux (Domnall Gleeson), commanding a fleet of the generically evil First Order as it pursues Princess Leia (the late Carrie Fisher) and her band of freedom fighters across the galaxy. The audience is treated to space pursuit shots, followed by close ups of Hux sneering one liners into the camera. Then the audience gets to see more space pursuit shots, followed by more sneering one liners. General Hux honestly feels like a parody James Bond villain, taken straight out of an Austin Powers movie–inspiration The Last Jedi returns to over and over again.
The rest of the plot continues as follows:
After the evil villains engage in off-tone comedic buffoonery (wait, what??) reminiscent of Dark Helmet and Colonel Sandurz, the less than intimidating bad guys counter-intuitively manage to blow up the protagonists’ main ship, killing (General) Princess Leia in the process. But wait…what happens next? What happens next could best be described as Leia’s Space Jesus Moment, where her dead body floats through space and then magically comes back to life. She extends her arm forward and flies across the darkness, until she reaches the safety and oxygen of another friendly ship and its intensive care unit. She then sleeps in a coma until the end of the film.
After this bizarre and awful opening, the story cuts away to a remote island location, where Luke Skywalker is hiding like a coward from his enemies, abandoning his friends, and having visions of that one time where he tried to murder a young boy. Ha ha! But if that doesn’t sound like Star Wars to you, don’t worry, the good filmmakers at Disney have so much more! There are cute and cuddly CGI animals which multiply like rabbits all over the screen. You are sure to notice them, so make sure you look in the online catalogue and buy, buy, buy! There is also bathroom humor. And AT-STs. And Yoda, there has to be Yoda. Now Disney can merchandise him too!
Meanwhile, talented Jedi-in-training Rey (played competently enough by Daisy Ridley) has sought out Skywalker’s help and instruction at his remote medieval fortress. She needs to become stronger in The Force if she’s ever going to beat that Kylo Ren bad guy (Adam Driver) who she already beat in the last movie. Or maybe she needs Luke to come out of retirement and defeat CGI monster Supreme Leader Snoke, who dresses like Goldmember from another Austin Powers movie, and gets killed with little effort by…you guessed it…the bad guy Rey already defeated before.
So much for challenging our heroines, huh?
But difficult challenges would only serve as distractions from what really matters in these movies, and that’s all of the bullshit that has been intentionally designed to sell something to every demographic Disney can possibly imagine. The days of Star Wars invoking archetypes and its stories serving as communal bonding experiences that drew people together through common struggle are long since gone. Watching these new films is like watching a series of commercials while on an amusement park ride. There is some Star Wars-y stuff here, and some things that kind of resemble Star Wars over there. But even if you come across a scene you like, there is no time to let it breath or develop on its own. The car must quickly whisk you away, because after all, there are many more attractions that must be seen and many more products that must be sold.
Just beware of the warning signs: stay off this ride!
0 out of 4 stars
(this was personally the worst Star Wars movie I have ever seen)
No respectable reviewer starts off by insulting people. And I think the ADHD bit is uncalled for.
Where were you in '77?
The Last Jedi: A movie made for stupid people with ADHD
by The Star Wars ReviewerLost somewhere in the middle of this interminably long, disjointed, boring, and often cringeworthy construction of a heretical film, there was an especially poignant - if unintentional - scene. Luke Skywalker, the now grayed and bearded old Jedi master, reunites with his long time trusted droid, R2-D2 aboard the Millenium Falcon. Forty years ago, it was this duo that first met in the original Star Wars film, when the droid’s iconic hologram message from Princess Leia, “Help me Obi-wan Kenobi, you’re my only hope!” captured Luke’s attention and sent him on his way, battling for freedom against the evil forces of the Galactic Empire.
During that first meeting, Luke was a young, fresh-faced hero. He was brash. He had his entire life ahead of him, and he wanted nothing more than to leave his middle-of-nowhere existence and find adventure and greater purpose in life. The beautiful Princess Leia’s message was urgent. Her desperation was a call for immediate action, to save her, to save everyone in the galaxy, and Luke was ready and able to accept that heroic task.
Fast forward many decades to this latest abomination of a Star Wars sequel, The Last Jedi, and what director Kathleen Kennedy gives us…erm, I mean director Rian Johnson… is yet another tired retread. More calls for nostalgia. A very visibly aged, yet distinguished, Mark Hamill (Luke) looks around the set of the ship, acknowledges he wants nothing to do with the plot that these writers have drawn up, and then watches the famous hologram before telling his sidekick, “Those were the good old days, huh? Is this what Star Wars has really become?”
No, of course Luke did not say those words, but the audience could hear him thinking them out loud anyway. In the middle of another bad movie, one with so much clutter and attention-distracting junk filled all over the screen, one that felt like an unfortunate mashup of Spaceballs meets Marvel Superheroes, this one scene was the only thing that felt like Star Wars really should feel like. It was vintage, plucked from another time, from a galaxy far far away, and inserted for reflection into a highly corporate toy and game commercial. To answer the pertinent question: yes Luke, like Sitting Bull doing racist stage performances for white men in Buffalo Bill Cody’s Wild West show, mockery for corporate money is indeed what you and Star Wars have become. Well done.
The Last Jedi starts out with perhaps the single most mustache-twirling villain of all mustache-twirling villains, General Hux (Domnall Gleeson), commanding a fleet of the generically evil First Order as it pursues Princess Leia (the late Carrie Fisher) and her band of freedom fighters across the galaxy. The audience is treated to space pursuit shots, followed by close ups of Hux sneering one liners into the camera. Then the audience gets to see more space pursuit shots, followed by more sneering one liners. General Hux honestly feels like a parody James Bond villain, taken straight out of an Austin Powers movie–inspiration The Last Jedi returns to over and over again.
The rest of the plot continues as follows:
After the evil villains engage in off-tone comedic buffoonery (wait, what??) reminiscent of Dark Helmet and Colonel Sandurz, the less than intimidating bad guys counter-intuitively manage to blow up the protagonists’ main ship, killing (General) Princess Leia in the process. But wait…what happens next? What happens next could best be described as Leia’s Space Jesus Moment, where her dead body floats through space and then magically comes back to life. She extends her arm forward and flies across the darkness, until she reaches the safety and oxygen of another friendly ship and its intensive care unit. She then sleeps in a coma until the end of the film.
After this bizarre and awful opening, the story cuts away to a remote island location, where Luke Skywalker is hiding like a coward from his enemies, abandoning his friends, and having visions of that one time where he tried to murder a young boy. Ha ha! But if that doesn’t sound like Star Wars to you, don’t worry, the good filmmakers at Disney have so much more! There are cute and cuddly CGI animals which multiply like rabbits all over the screen. You are sure to notice them, so make sure you look in the online catalogue and buy, buy, buy! There is also bathroom humor. And AT-STs. And Yoda, there has to be Yoda. Now Disney can merchandise him too!
Meanwhile, talented Jedi-in-training Rey (played competently enough by Daisy Ridley) has sought out Skywalker’s help and instruction at his remote medieval fortress. She needs to become stronger in The Force if she’s ever going to beat that Kylo Ren bad guy (Adam Driver) who she already beat in the last movie. Or maybe she needs Luke to come out of retirement and defeat CGI monster Supreme Leader Snoke, who dresses like Goldmember from another Austin Powers movie, and gets killed with little effort by…you guessed it…the bad guy Rey already defeated before.
So much for challenging our heroines, huh?
But difficult challenges would only serve as distractions from what really matters in these movies, and that’s all of the bullshit that has been intentionally designed to sell something to every demographic Disney can possibly imagine. The days of Star Wars invoking archetypes and its stories serving as communal bonding experiences that drew people together through common struggle are long since gone. Watching these new films is like watching a series of commercials while on an amusement park ride. There is some Star Wars-y stuff here, and some things that kind of resemble Star Wars over there. But even if you come across a scene you like, there is no time to let it breath or develop on its own. The car must quickly whisk you away, because after all, there are many more attractions that must be seen and many more products that must be sold.
Just beware of the warning signs: stay off this ride!
0 out of 4 stars
(this was personally the worst Star Wars movie I have ever seen)No respectable reviewer starts off by insulting people. And I think the ADHD bit is uncalled for.
Petition to change his username to StarWars"Reviewer".
It occurred to me today that they convinced Abrams to do TFA with the question “Who is Luke Skywalker?” and with the events of TLJ and JJ now coming back for IX, that’s pretty much the only thing in the ST he won’t address.
they convinced Abrams to do TFA with the question “Who is Luke Skywalker?”
So I guess Kennedy never watched the OT (could explain a lot).