Sounds great! The way you have linked the balcony scene and the fireside scene in my mind is now completely inescapable. It's the kind of creative switch that will make this new cut far better than people have a right to expect.
Cutting the bedroom scene, dinner and kitchen scenes so they work better sounds great. I also love the "Sound of Music" reference that you're adding. But two things there make me nervous:
1. Them "rolling around" is too childish and too intimate for these two awkward statesmen. She is a queen and a senator. He is a Jedi. Sure, they're kids, but they aren't 5 year olds. When we see two 19 year old kids rolling around in the grass it means they're either brother and sister or lovers. It doesn't mesh with this new, smarter Anakin you're building here. If this WERE a democracy, I'd vote agin it.
2. Anakin talking about his dream of having a monarch who makes the senate do the right thing makes him look dumb again. I know he's naive about the Supreme Chancellor, but I don't think he is too dumb to understand the fundamental concepts of democracy. Furthermore, saying this to Padme is as sure-fire a way to drive her off as if he told her he just killed a bunch of women and children. She has devoted her life to democracy and been the Queen for cryin' out loud. Any man with Anakin's "dream" will never get in her pants. She probably wouldn't talk to him again for days after that.
I think the visual of them in the grass is awesome and should be played totally for scenery -- with the love theme playing over them. Why sully it with misguided political talk?