Thanks for the input - here’s the new version:
https://vimeo.com/238707800
Password: finn

I changed the first line, and I’m pretty happy with the flow now.

“I heard you’re looking for some labor.”
“To evade this First Order?”
“I was told you can get me to the outer rim.”
“You’d be safer here.”
“Neutral Ground.”

I liked the dismissive tone in Leia’s deleted scene ‘They must take action against this First Order’, but since I changed that for a better line reading, here it’s reinstated in the pirate’s first line.