Just finished watching, so here are my thoughts.
The opening space battle seems a bit too dark and contrast-y, IMO
I think the “never an elevator when you need one” line could be louder, and I don’t think Anakin’s reply is necessary
“Good view from up there” is very hard to hear, I’d make it quite a bit louder
“No loose wire jokes” could be a tad louder, Obi-Wan’s reply moreso
- I like that Anakin greets Palpatine. Very small change, but I think it makes the dialogue feel more natural
- I don’t think “I was about to say that” works
I really like how you re-edited the Dooku battle, the omission of Anakin’s yells, particularly; it makes him seem much more powerful and Vader-like
I like Anakin’s laugh when the ship lands
- “So we doing this or what?” could be ever-so-slightly louder, but it’s not a huge issue
- The rescoring of Anakin and Padme’s reunion was done beautifully
- “Hey” could be a bit louder
- “You’ve fought many battles the Jedi thought were lost…” is a good change, and was done very well
The cutting of “…master” from “Forgive me, master,” was pretty rough. If it’s too hard to fix, I’d say it just isn’t worth removing, and perhaps it could even make sense for Anakin to be more ‘submissive’ when speaking to Windu
I feel like switch between Anakin and Padme laughing to a serious political discussion is too sudden. I think it’s because the “what’s the matter” is in a playful tone. What I’d do is maybe start their laughing a little bit earlier in the establishing shot, giving a greater pause between the laughing and Anakin asking what’s wrong; and replace his silly “what’s the matter” with something similar, albeit asked more seriously (if you can find an audio clip that fits)
Anakin’s response to Padme’s question doesn’t seem like a real answer. It seems like they’re having 2 different conversations, IMO. Perhaps cut the “sometimes I wonder what’s happening to the Jedi order,” line
I really hate the “hold me like you did on the lakes of Naboo” monlogue, and I’d love for it to be cut
I like the Pazaak music
The changes to the opera scene were subtle, but well done
Anakin agreeing that Obi-Wan should go to Utapau makes him seem much more mature
I really like what you’ve done with Obi-Wan’s “farewell” scene
The way you’ve re-done the Palpatine revalation scene really does make Anakin seem more autonomous
I love everything you’ve done with the birth of Vader scene
I like what you’ve done with Obi-Wan’s reaction to the security footage
Overall, it’s a damn good edit, and probably the best version of the movie there ever will be without totally overhauling it.
I pretty much agree with all of this, with one exception. The new ending does not work for me. I do like the idea of ending on Vader’s “birth”, but the original ending was so well edited (Vader’s tantrum notwithstanding). This version feels abrupt and a little hacked together, and the music doesn’t quite fit. What I would do is revert back to the original ending, except either use Hal9000’s Vader scream or use l8wrtr’s technique of fading out right after Vader says “yes, master”, skipping the tantrum entirely.
When I get to my version, I’ll probably use the “Padme lives” ending, but I don’t think its necessary for what you’re trying to do.
Another sidenote, it bothers me that there are no ALL CAPS terms in the crawl, since that’s a staple of Star Wars crawls.
EDIT: also, what happened to “I AM the Senate”. I wouldn’t normally propose leaving in a line due to meme status (I agree with the high ground being cut) but I genuinely liked that line.