I am a father to a 2.5 year old daughter, and her preferences, while influenced by me, are so very obviously to me not altogether of my or my wife’s making.
As a parent, I grow increasingly annoyed at accusations that parents brainwash or wrongfully indoctrinate their kids.
Absolutely agree. But I believe the current thinking is that by the time the average child is 2 years old, their parents are no longer the primary external influence on them. So while there’s a hell of a lot of internal causes, there are also a hell of a lot of external causes, and the parents really barely factor into it beyond the first couple years.
That said, I know some trans kids. They are not boys who see all the media’s messaging (and parental/peer messaging) about how boys should act and reject it. They do not see other boys and say “I’m a boy but I don’t want to be like that”. They are girls who see all the media’s messaging (and parental/peer messaging) about how girls should act and largely accept it. They see other girls and usually say “I’m a girl too and I want to be like that.” But they have a penis.
But the point is, they start doing that before they even know they are transgendered. They don’t go “oh! I transgendered! Now let me see how everyone thinks girls should act and I will act like that”, I think it is more like they start out preferring girls and then realize later on that they are transgendered.