Mike O, I don’t know what to say, but hang in there. And always feel free to rant, even if no one responds. It’s good to share rather than keeping everything inside, even when we can’t offer you any help.
I’m sick of hanging in there! I’m sick of shrinks I’m too cowardly to listen to, I’m sick of doctors and psychiatrists and pills! I had to cut my medication in half because I was sleeping for 14 hours at a time, and now I feel I’m facing some sort of withdrawal or something. I’m sick of my life, I’m sick of being a prisoner in my own fucking head, my dad went off on one of his tangents watching far-right videos (I don’t agree with practically any of his politics). I shrugged it off and moved on. Barely thought about it. Why can’t I do that with Matt Dillahunty and AronRa? Why? Why? Why can’t I? Why?
I want to come home from work and relax. I want control over asmy fucking thoughts back. I want to be able to see a priest or a crucifix without spiraling into a panic attack. I have had enough of this shit. I just can’t control it. And it doesn’t feel like I ever will again. I feel so broken.
You’re right that sometimes I come here to rant, and I’m sorry if I dump on others. Sometimes I just need to get this stuff out.