I enjoyed the opening crawl very much, but I take minor issue with the very last lines about the new superweapon bringing order to the galaxy. ANH’s tells us that Princess Leia is custodian to the plans that will bring freedom to the galaxy, which we see in a sympathetic light. Your phrasing here almost invites the same sympathy, as if Director Krennic is just trying to do the right thing and give the galaxy order and stability. While Rogue One is a bit more of an exception, it is still pretty apparent that it fits in with other Star Wars movies in not being subtle who is good and who is evil.
This is all my trademark, long-winded way of saying that I feel a different choice of words should be used that indicates Krennic’s malicious intent, like, “that will completely subjugate the galaxy,” or, “that will ensure the Emperor’s total rule of the galaxy.” I feel like my phrases are pretty poor, but something along those lines would better describe the situation in my mind.
Since you mention making alternate versions, I hope you will make one with the episode number. If you are making a trilogy with this as episode III, I’d love to see you retain that number. I’ve always wanted a prequel trilogy that deserved its numeric order, and you might be the one to create it.
I hope you will be using the ROTS deleted scenes when you get to your Episode II. This will obviously be somewhat disconnected from the other two in the trilogy, and I feel you should do all you can to maintain that connection. Including Mon Mothma in deleted scenes and giving more for Bail Organa to do will help in that regard. I hope you will also use the HAL9000 ending where we only see baby Leia and a surviving Padme.
I feel like I’m rambling, but it’s late and I should be working on homework, and ideas are flowing to my brain that don’t necessarily fit this thread. I think you could help maintain the supposed mystery of Vader’s identity with his creation in Episode II along with Anakin’s death. Obviously, you would never show Anakin’s retrieval. You could transpose Palpatine’s line, “Soon I will have a new apprentice,” into the scene where he’s talking to the Separatist leaders in place of, “When my new apprentice, Darth Vader arrives, he will…take care of you.” This would take place after Anakin has already turned evil, so it could lead you to believe that Palpatine is actually coming to rely on a new mystery character. Perhaps, with appropriate editing and deletions, it might be passable. Remove all other references to Anakin being Darth Vader, and then at the end, make a very brief appearance of suited Vader with the lines placed like the ROTS trailer: “Lord Vader.” “Yes, Master.” “Rise.” And with dramatic music, Vader is raised to a standing position in his hospital bed, with none of the transformation shown. After this very brief appearance, we cut away from him immediately and do not see him until your new Episode III.
Not sure how viable this is. Just late night inspiration talking.