Bingowings said:
4. Keep in Touch. At the moment you don’t feel enthusiastic about anything but as an exercise contacting people who you have any kind of friendly relations or past with can have a genuinely positive effect.All of your points for Mike O are great, but I wanted to comment on this specifically because it’s something that is offered as advice in a lot of scenarios and people have told me this a lot and I just don’t get it. I think it’s probably a feeling somewhat unique to me, but people just disgust me. Being within twenty feet of anyone other than a few exceptions makes me want to scream. I’m not a sociopath at all, I’m actually extremely empathetic almost to a fault in that I obsess over how I can go about doing things without harming or inconveniencing anyone, plus I get furious whenever I hear about people getting mistreated. The really funny thing, though, is that I get quite lonely, but it only takes a single interaction with one of my so-called “friends” (which never fails to remind me of why they sicken me and why I never want to see them again) to realize that the only experience worse than overwhelming loneliness is talking to fucking people. Like I said, I’m generally alone in this opinion, but it’s something that I see all the time as a supposed ingredient for happiness and I can’t even imagine having a circle of people that I would enjoy meeting with regularly. Sorry to derail the thread.
Not really sure what to say to this as I am unsure what it is about your so called “friends” that makes them sicken you and why you think overwhelming loneliness is better than talking to people.
Well, overwhelming loneliness isn’t necessarily better or worse than talking to people. I meant that as horrible as loneliness is, the second I interact with people I am reminded of how awful they are and why I avoid them in the first place, so I guess you could say that it’s a vicious cycle. As for my friends, it’s a big mix of everything. They’re very uninterested in pretty much everything I have to say and they rarely even understand what I’m talking about even though I have completely comprehensible speech patterns. I started avoiding most of them a while before I had any dislike for them because I suspected that they were conspiring to fuck me over; I still they were, but that was a while ago so I suppose it doesn’t matter anymore. The people I was really good friends with just eventually started ignoring me and pretending that they wanted to talk to me but were busy with other things. I hate being lied to so I’d rather they just be honest but they’re not. This really isn’t a new thing either, they’ve always been exactly this way, but I put up with it for a long time and it wasn’t until recently that I realized how much I can’t stand them.