The Place to Go for Emotional Support — Page 63

Yes…best of luck, and we’re here for you!

emanswfan said:

Just thought I’d take the time to quick post about just why my projects have all been so slow…I’ve had to deal with depression, anxiety, and now recently diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder for many years. I had left it so unchecked for so long, it was really wearing on me. It had gotten to the point I stopped doing much of any of my hobbies having lost motivation and struggling with panic and rapid mood swings.

Since the end of April, I’ve been in constant treatment and getting my life back around. I’ve had some serious suicide attempts, one of which landed me in the ICU.

I’m finally taking charge of my life for the better.

And also I’m now a transgender female, of which my family hates being the transphobics they are…so really feelin’ the love there. SIGH… So there’s much business and craziness in my personal life.

I’m so sorry for your difficulties. We’ve got your back! I’m glad you’ve gotten some help. Silly Star Wars projects can wait. Take care of you first! 😃

College is hard. But if the initiative is taken, things will sort themselves out, even if you screw up along the way.

Mike O said:

Sigh. I’ve had TWO WEEKS of vacation. Lots of people would die for that. I’ve TRIED to fight against my depression and OCD, but it’s so hard. I’ve gone out with friends twice, with family once (going to be twice, and hopefully three times), but I can barely enjoy ANYTHING. I have to go back to work on Monday, and can barely stand the the thought, but it’s not like I’m deriving any pleasure from my time off. I had a huge compulsion binge today. I’m beginning to think that I’m going to have to live with the fact that my faith is cracked, and just can’t deal with it, but that’s still no reason for this obsessive behavior and thoughts.

I completed a psychoanalytic evaluation. I’m depressed and obsessive, which I could’ve told them, but apparently I’m a therapist’s dream because I’m self-aware and full of potential. But I couldn’t even DO the ERP my last therapist assigned me. I didn’t listen, then I complain that I don’t feel better. I kind of wish I could apologize to him. I just…feel stuck. If I’m not willing to put in the effort, I waste a therapist’s time. They’ll be submitting my analysis data to my psychiatrist, and hopefully he’ll recommend someone. I see him again in a week or two. But my mysterious compulsion to do things multiple times isn’t getting better in the meantime even after I indulge the compulsions. I’m tired of this. I just want to sit down and watch some TV or read and relax. I want my brain back. What’s happening to me? Why is this happening to me? I was fine a year or so ago, and had REAL problems. This is so fucking stupid.

You aren’t wasting the time of the therapist. They are trained to expect certain behaviours from unwell people. Hopefully they will be taking a note of what you tell them and this will inform the future course of your therapy. Why it’s happening to you is an easy question to answer but the solution to it is the difficult part. This is happening to you because you are unwell. People get unwell in lots of different ways for lots of different reasons and mental illness and mental poor health are no different from any other kind of illness or poor health. From a general perspective there are activities that will raise your mental health.

1. You are doing right now. It’s talking (or writing) about your feelings. Getting those feelings out of your head onto a page or out into the wider world is of undeniable benefit so keep tapping those keys.

2.Eat well and eat healthy food. Maintain three meals a day, drink plenty of water and limit your caffeine, salt and sugar. It has a very strong effect on the mind what you put in your body.

3. Drink Sensibly. Booze is a depressant it is a powerful medication and can bugger up other medications so use sparingly if at all during this time.

4. Keep in Touch. At the moment you don’t feel enthusiastic about anything but as an exercise contacting people who you have any kind of friendly relations or past with can have a genuinely positive effect.

5. Keep active. Physical activity of any kind releases chemicals into your body that raise your mood. Doing something physical has an effect on self esteem it also makes you more likely to get a healthy amount of sleep. It could be as simple as taking the stairs rather than the elevator or doing a bit of gardening or walking somewhere.

6. You are already doing but I put this here for anyone else. Ask for help. It’s good you got connected to a medical team but find out what your local helplines are and should you find your situation particularly desperate there is always your ER (or A&E if you are on the other side of the splashy salt watery thing).

7. You are having a bit of a problem with right now is take a break. That break doesn’t need to be a weekend with an itinerary of places to be, people to see etc. It can be any change of scene or routine. As Dale Cooper would say https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjkVgc6gIqk

8. Do something you know or at least you are told you are good at. Can you remember someone saying you did something well or made something good or when someone thanked you for a job well done? If you can do it something similar.

9. Accept who you are. At the moment you are someone with an illness and this may reduce the impact of some of the suggested activities on this list but if you rotate through them one or more will eventually have an effect. I can’t tell you which one so keep trying them all if you can. Despite the illness you are a complex personality you may not be good at somethings but you are certainly good at others. Be kind to yourself.

10. Care for others. Helping others has a measurable effect on mental health. It boosts your self esteem. It makes you feel connected to the world and able to effect it positively albeit in limited ways.

This is like telling someone with a broken leg to prepare for a marathon. I know that.
But you will eventually regain some of previous capacity to feel happiness and contentment you may even surpass your previous levels over time. Impatience while you are in discomfort is also reasonable. Expect it but work with it. Getting unwell people well is the thing that therapists and doctors are paid for so you aren’t wasting their time. Be honest with them and yourself and you will make steps to recovery which will aggregate towards forward momentum. No matter how many steps back you may take getting there.

Good Luck.

moviefreakedmind said:

Bingowings said:
4. Keep in Touch. At the moment you don’t feel enthusiastic about anything but as an exercise contacting people who you have any kind of friendly relations or past with can have a genuinely positive effect.

All of your points for Mike O are great, but I wanted to comment on this specifically because it’s something that is offered as advice in a lot of scenarios and people have told me this a lot and I just don’t get it. I think it’s probably a feeling somewhat unique to me, but people just disgust me. Being within twenty feet of anyone other than a few exceptions makes me want to scream. I’m not a sociopath at all, I’m actually extremely empathetic almost to a fault in that I obsess over how I can go about doing things without harming or inconveniencing anyone, plus I get furious whenever I hear about people getting mistreated. The really funny thing, though, is that I get quite lonely, but it only takes a single interaction with one of my so-called “friends” (which never fails to remind me of why they sicken me and why I never want to see them again) to realize that the only experience worse than overwhelming loneliness is talking to fucking people. Like I said, I’m generally alone in this opinion, but it’s something that I see all the time as a supposed ingredient for happiness and I can’t even imagine having a circle of people that I would enjoy meeting with regularly. Sorry to derail the thread.

+1. I’ve spent my whole summer reevaluating my relations to the people I know and am considerably disappointed at how hollow it all is.

moviefreakedmind said:

Bingowings said:
4. Keep in Touch. At the moment you don’t feel enthusiastic about anything but as an exercise contacting people who you have any kind of friendly relations or past with can have a genuinely positive effect.

All of your points for Mike O are great, but I wanted to comment on this specifically because it’s something that is offered as advice in a lot of scenarios and people have told me this a lot and I just don’t get it. I think it’s probably a feeling somewhat unique to me, but people just disgust me. Being within twenty feet of anyone other than a few exceptions makes me want to scream. I’m not a sociopath at all, I’m actually extremely empathetic almost to a fault in that I obsess over how I can go about doing things without harming or inconveniencing anyone, plus I get furious whenever I hear about people getting mistreated. The really funny thing, though, is that I get quite lonely, but it only takes a single interaction with one of my so-called “friends” (which never fails to remind me of why they sicken me and why I never want to see them again) to realize that the only experience worse than overwhelming loneliness is talking to fucking people. Like I said, I’m generally alone in this opinion, but it’s something that I see all the time as a supposed ingredient for happiness and I can’t even imagine having a circle of people that I would enjoy meeting with regularly. Sorry to derail the thread.

Not really sure what to say to this as I am unsure what it is about your so called “friends” that makes them sicken you and why you think overwhelming loneliness is better than talking to people.

Handman said:

moviefreakedmind said:

Bingowings said:
4. Keep in Touch. At the moment you don’t feel enthusiastic about anything but as an exercise contacting people who you have any kind of friendly relations or past with can have a genuinely positive effect.

All of your points for Mike O are great, but I wanted to comment on this specifically because it’s something that is offered as advice in a lot of scenarios and people have told me this a lot and I just don’t get it. I think it’s probably a feeling somewhat unique to me, but people just disgust me. Being within twenty feet of anyone other than a few exceptions makes me want to scream. I’m not a sociopath at all, I’m actually extremely empathetic almost to a fault in that I obsess over how I can go about doing things without harming or inconveniencing anyone, plus I get furious whenever I hear about people getting mistreated. The really funny thing, though, is that I get quite lonely, but it only takes a single interaction with one of my so-called “friends” (which never fails to remind me of why they sicken me and why I never want to see them again) to realize that the only experience worse than overwhelming loneliness is talking to fucking people. Like I said, I’m generally alone in this opinion, but it’s something that I see all the time as a supposed ingredient for happiness and I can’t even imagine having a circle of people that I would enjoy meeting with regularly. Sorry to derail the thread.

+1. I’ve spent my whole summer reevaluating my relations to the people I know and am considerably disappointed at how hollow it all is.

I would hope at the end of your evaluation process there were about three people you could call or write to if you couldn’t pop over to visit. The point of the exercise is to connect to people. Particularly people who at least try to make us feel better to some degree. The mind responds to visual cues of other people and positively to positive cues.

This is ongoing.

I hope this doesn’t come off as insensitive but it kind of sounds like you might just need new friends or something.

moviefreakedmind said:

TV’s Frink said:

I hope this doesn’t come off as insensitive but it kind of sounds like you might just need new friends or something.

Yeah, probably. I don’t like anyone else either though.

You haven’t met everyone yet.

I need new friends too. I have nothing in common with them. Problem is I’m stuck in a situation where I kind of can’t meet anybody who is a bit more relatable. So, I guess this forum will suffice.

Goddamn it, I was down to one person I could open up to, and now I’m down to zero.