Oh hey our face tattooed federal judge (lololol) stopped by to be dick as usual. Big surprise!
I am deeply sorry to any family or friends he might have.
His friends choose to be his friend, so that’s on them.
You know, it just occurred to me that they might not have a choice for fear that he would eat them otherwise.
He also might not have friends… which is why added ‘might’ to that sentence.