Thank you so much for your reply. After hearing your reasonings I agree with you but I would like to offer a few suggestions.
I guess it’s just me, but I rather like the cutting back and forth; the juxtaposition of R2 having a violent-ish adventure as Obi Wan and Anakin are literally just having an elevator chat, works better to me than if we watch one happen then the other. It’s quick, abrupt, and happens a lot, but I think that’s what adds to the humor. But that is a device used in editing for comedy movies, so I can see how it’s distracting in the context of a movie like this. Idk.
Oh I agree the cutting back and forth does work but I think it happens so quickly that I don’t really have anytime to take in and thus laugh at the comedy. I just feel that you need to either seperate the two or hold on each cut a little longer before mvoing to the next one.
Thanks for this! I’ve been trying to break how I was going to fix this scene, and I can’t believe I didn’t think of reversing the previous shot! I’ve changed it quickly in between studying lol. Thank you! It really helps to have more than my pair of eyes on the edit.
Your most welcome. Don’t worry I plan on giving this fam edit as much feedback as I can. LOL
This is actually from Hal 9000’s edit, and I think it’s fine tbh. It would be kind of confusing to the hypothetical first time viewer, but I don’t know how much. There are alot of things that go unexplained in Star Wars, and this is one of those things that’s easier to assume correctly; that that’s his “true form” or whatever. The “or whatever” part allows for some imagination on the part of the viewer anyway.
Good point but perhaps you could splice together a transformation shot from the footage of Windu reflecting back force lightning.
Something like this.
Anakin cuts off Windu's hand.
Use the shot of Palpatine shooting force lightning at Windu from earilier.
Then use a shot of the lightning changing his face.
Then have palpatine yell the POWER!!! line.
I do think it’s fine as well, I’m just offering some suggestions.
I thought the music surprisingly flowed from one note to the next despite my cutting, but I did think the background lava explosion sfx just kind of abruptly stops; is that what you meant? If that’s the case, I’m definitely still trying to work that out. Maybe by having the sound fade out a little sooner before the next cut? But that might be more jarring.
Yeah I mean’t the lava explosion sfx cuts out. My bad. LOL
I think there isn’t enough to support the idea that in the time Anakin and Obi Wan are separated, he turns fully against his best friend. Before, you have the justification of “oh the dark side corrupted him” or “oh they were never really friends”, but those are both contrary to the idea of my edit. They’re really only enemies by circumstance and what Anakin’s done at this point; I don’t think Anakin should have any real ill will against Obi Wan. By leaving “if you’re not with me…” hanging, and silence from Anakin there onwards, it’s almost like Anakin is giving Obi Wan a quick out. But Obi Wan obviously doesn’t want to back down, so Anakin does he must - which is try to kill him. From there, Anakin is “too quiet” because in my interpretation of the characters, I do believe that any verbal engagement between the two would go differently than it did in the theatrical. Obi Wan could talk sense (or at the very least regret enough to stop) into Anakin, because from Anakin’s POV, he doesn’t believe the Jedi are actually evil.
Very good points and I agree with your reasonings. Here is an alternative solution which I feel fits into your characterization.
Anakin “To my new empire.”
Obi-Wan “Your new empire? Anakin, my allegiance is to the republic!”
Anakin look's over his shoulder and then turns his head back again.
Anakin with his back still turned “Don't make me kill you.”
(This uses Anakins original dialog in between “Your new empire?” and “Anakin, my allegiance is to the Republic, to democracy!” I feel this fits in well with Anakin giving Obi-Wan a quick out and it mirrors the dialog Vader says to luke in ESB “Don’t make me destroy you.”)
Obi-Wan “I will do what I must.”
Anakin “So will I.”
(This would have to be constructed from earlier dialog but as you said “Anakin does what he
must - which is try to kill him.” and you already have the “WILL I” sound from “you WILL tRY”)
or Anakin “You will.”
(To me this is basically Anakin acknowledging that “You will do what you must and so will I.”)
I think this could fix the disjointed and clunky feel of this conversation while also fitting into your characterization.
I somewhat agree with you when it comes to the line “This is the end for you.” (Cutting out the “My Master” part) but I also feel that if Anakin’s only reply to “I have failed you Anakin, I have failed you” is “This is the end for you.” it kind of reflects the cold brutality of the man Anakin is becoming (Darth Vader).
But like I said these are just my opinions and suggestions. LOL
I had a slowed down shot of Anakin’s face there in an earlier cut, but it looks even weirder. I took the lesser of two weirds, because I really don’t want “underestimate my power.”
This is how it appears in your edit.
Obi-Wan "It's over Anakin, I have the high ground."
The skiff pulls up.
Obi-Wan "Don't try it."
Shot of Anakins face before he jumps.
Anakin jumps.
I feel it would work better if you focused on Anakins face before Obi-Wan says “Don’t try it”.
Here is my suggestion for how it could be improved.
Obi-Wan "It's over Anakin, I have the high ground."
The skiff pulls up.
Shot of Anakins face before he jumps.
Obi-Wan "Don't try it."
Anakin Jumps
I’ll see what I can do. I remember putting Padme’s death where it was because I felt the shot went by too fast before or after Vader’s initial reaction.
Well, I like how you intercut the two and I love the placement of Padme’s death but what I want to see is Vader’s reaction during the line “I…? I couldn’t have! She was alive… I felt it!”.
So in my mind, it would play out like this.
Vader "Where is Padme? Is she safe? Is she all right?"
Palpatine "It seems in your anger-"
Cut to Padme's death scene.
Palpatine "-you killed her."
Slight pause in the dialog for Padme's head to fall.
Cut back to Vader.
Vader "I...? I couldn't have! She was alive... I felt it!"
Then the scene continues exactly as you edited it.
Like I said earlier these are just little things to me, on the whole, your fan edit is amazing 10/10.
P.S. Aww shucks, I’m glad you like the poster.
P.P.S One thing I forgot to mention in my last post was that I would include the dialog between Anakin and Obi-Wan about sensing a trap but removing the line about sensing Count Doku. Because I know why you cut the line about Count Doku but I think the banter about springing the trap is entertaining and again gives off that brothers vibe you’re going for.