Okay I have watched the rough cut and here are my thoughts

Here I am going to list the things I feel need some work although keep in mind that this is just my opinion so I ask that you all take this with a grain of salt.

0:9:26 - 0:9:55
I like what you did here with the elevator and R2 burning the droids although I feel that cutting back and forth between the two happens a little too much thus making it kinda distracting. What I would suggest is that after you have R2 fix the elevator cut to the elevator segment and then after Anakin and Obi-Wan’s little banter about R2 you cut to R2 getting picked up and burning the droids. I feel it would be less distracting and the comedic timing would work better overall.

0:13:03 - 0:13:05
I like what you did here having Anakin in silent contemplation rather than saying “Then his fate will be the same as ours.” but it looks a little weird. I would suggest holding on his face then using the part where he looks up from Obi-wan toward Palpatine ( 0:13:01 - 0:13:02 ) but reverse it so it looks like he is looking down at Obi-wan.

0:25:21 - 0:25:28
Excellent editing here I love the dialog changes but the music gets a little loud towards the end to the point where I can hardly hear Palpatine say “and you saved my life.”.

0:53:07 - 0:53:10
The only thing I don’t like about this scene is that you suddenly cut to Grievous mid-fall without showing him jumping off the platform.

1:03:18 - 1:03:19
I understand why you cut out the whole spin jump Palpatine does but it feels like something has been removed when I watch it so even though its kinda silly I would keep it.

1:04:27 - 1:05:38
I saw what you were going for but I feel the transition of Palpatine’s face from normal to scarred without an explanation is a little jarring and would be kinda confusing to first-time viewers. I also feel that Anakin should say “What have I done?” because without that it makes Palpatine’s next statement sound like half a conversation to me.

1:05:38 - 1:06:40
I like this scene although I would have at least a mention of Padme being the reason why he pledges himself to Darth Sidious and about them needing to work together to discover the secret to life because it feels a little too quick and I think a first time viewer would be left wondering “why is he becoming his apprentice now? isn’t there another options?”. I also feel cutting to Yoda in this scene is a little distracting, it should focus entirely on Anakin and Palpatine.

1:30:45 - 1:30:46
There’s a weird music change at this point that was a little distracting.

1:31:16 - 1:31:38
I like how you cut out a lot of the cheesy dialog here but it feels a little clunky and disjointed. Here is how I feel it could be improved.

Anakin “To my new empire.”.

Obi-Wan “Your new empire? Anakin, my allegiance is to the republic!”

Anakin “If you’re not with me then you’re my enemy.”

Obi-Wan “I will do what I must.”

Anakin “You will try.”

I feel this removes most of the cheesy dialog while still feeling like a complete conversation.

1:35:30 - 1:35:39
I would have included Anakin saying “This is the end for you.” I just feel Anakin is a little too quiet throughout the fight. Obi-Wan at least got “I have failed you Anakin.” so I feel Anakin should have at least a little dialog. Also, I feel Obi-Wan should say the full “I have failed you Anakin, I have failed you.” because I feel it cuts away a little too quickly when you shorten it.

1:36:00 - 1:36:10
I’m a little torn as to whether or not to include Anakin’s “underestimate my power” line but I think that you should have focused on Anakin’s face before Obi-Wan says “Don’t try it” because to me Obi-Wan can just tell what Anakin is thinking by the look on his face but if he just says it without focusing on Anakin’s face first, it looks a little weird.

1:36:15 - 1:37:22
Now I want to say that of all the things you changed removing the majority of Obi-Wan’s speech was my least favorite. I know you’re trying to make this more personal and less about the prophecy but I feel that this entire speech is completely personal because in my mind this speech is two things.

Obi-Wan is saying “You were my brother, You were the greatest of us, and you betrayed us all.” this is basically Obi-Wan telling Anakin how disappointed he is that he has fallen so low and how much Obi-Wan failed him.
This is the point from Obi-Wan’s point of view where Anakin “died”. So I consider this speech in a way to be Obi-Wan’s eulogy for Anakin Skywalker who was in his words “The best star pilot in the galaxy, a cunning warrior, and he was a good friend.”.

1:43:36 - 1:43:55
I see what you were gong for here but I would put a pause between what the emperor saying “You killed her” and Vader’s reaction and put Padme’s death during said pause so that we can see Vader’s reaction on screen. Seeing his reaction to this news is one of the highlights of ROTS for me, so I would hate to see it cut.

The only other thing I feel should be included in this edit is this deleted scene https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJUVHSBy9JM but remove Grevious and Shok Te so they can meet him on the bridge. Because I feel this scene adds some levity to the film and the banter gives off that brothers vibe you’re going for.

Now to list all the things I loved about your edit…Oh, wait I can’t…Because there are too fucking many. The issues I mentioned above is only nitpicking. Overall even in this rough state it is already my definitive ROTS FanEdit. 10/10 Amazing work. 😃

P.S.
1:24:08 - 1:24:20
I do have to mention that you handled Yoda not fighting the emperor masterfully. The reasons/motivations other editors give Yoda for not fighting the Emperor don’t work for me. But with some subtle dialog, you give the impression that Yoda is basically telling Obi-Wan “Forget about Anakin and The Emperor. We must protect what remains of the Jedi Order.”. Which is exactly the kind of thing Yoda would say in this situation, just like in ESB when he tells Luke to stay, finish his training, and let his friends die for the greater good, well done, maestro, well done.