I’m not sure how much better I can make this line, so for now this is where it stays:
https://vimeo.com/215060086
Password: ren
Sorry if it’s explained earlier, but what is the point of this change? Just rewatched this part in version 1 of Hal’s restructured TFA (which I’m assuming is unchanged from the original) and it’s not really any different from what you have him saying here in your edit? And if that’s as good as you can get it, sorry to say but I think this needs to be on your cutting room floor 😉
.Val