Vile? Maybe just honest. There’s some harsh but accurate criticism out there. It I’ve always known that and been able to take it on the chin. This feel like an inexplicable obsession. I need a distance intellectually. I’m still not sure if this is straight-up OCD; for it to simply manifest itself for No reason when I’m almost 30 just makes no sense to me. Why would that happen biologically? I’m looking at medication, but it’s a slow process, and that’s hard when you’re hurting. It’s hard to even want to get out of bed, much less excercise. But I know what you mean. I don’t self-medicate; no caffeine, cigarettes, weed, or booze. Just want the doctor prescribes. I just wish it was working better.