I managed to watch some TV. Still would like to derive more pleasure from what I do, I’m still numb to it, but at least I did. My mother has one of her oldest friends over-a couple, actually. Nice, good people.She mentioned the priest who married her and my father when they were all reminiscing, and I immediately went into an attack memory of Dillahunty: “Clergy are leeches on society! And pedophiles!” They’re talking about Easter with her (adorable) triplet grandkids, and I’m thinking “Brainwashing.” I see I still have a long way to go if I’m ever back to normal. I don’t think I ever will be, I think I’m going to have to find a way to live with this. I still kind of feel like a piece of shit during things like this. I’ve been trying. I’ve going out with my friends several times. and we’ve planned a whole day for Monday. I’ll have to see my dad’s doctor the following week. Kind of hoping he’ll raise the Abilify again. I’ll tell him the honest truth; it’s tenuously working a little. I looked up the “Neurobehavioral consultant” he’s recommenced for psychological testing; presumably that’s a fancy way of saying “psychologist.” One rather nasty review, and two pretty solid ones. I guess I’ll find out in a few weeks.God, I fucking hate my brain. Sorry, just wanted a little mind-dump. Anyway, as always, love you guys and thanks for your support.