Everyone keeps telling me this, and they’re right. It just so fucking hard. I’m spending a lot of time saying I want to get better, but I’m sure not spending much in action pushing to get better? And why? Because it’s too hard. That’s not fair of me to others. And I know that. But Christ, is it fucking hard, and even the smallest steps are hard. So this kick in the ass is probably necessary. I just wish I could make SOME progress. If I did, I’d see how it was possible and feel more hopeful. But enough of my pity party. And thanks, you guys. You’re good to have around to talk to, and hopefully I haven’t been driving everyone nuts with my whining about all of this.
You ARE making progress because you are STILL with us. Don’t underestimate the power or importance of survival. Without discussing it too much, I suffer something similar, and everyday is a battle. Now, I have a daughter and she is my rock, but it doesn’t win the battle. I do. I force myself to be aware and to take what measures I think will best help me fight. I am always exhausted but I am alive. I am learning to move forward and I won’t look back.
Keep coming here … we’ll be here to help you along.
😃