Here’s version 3 of the scene:

https://mega.nz/#!edc3hLzB!jwPhXUHnAxZMXp2CWEBEQ5cYOLKiIH0kdfgZe6sQ5Y4

I totally understand if this doesn’t end up being used in the edit. I just haven’t committed to making a standalone edit of the film since I’m not too concerned with changing or deleting a whole lot. I feel like TFA is too frenetic as is, so most of my interest is in adding and extending crucial shots and scenes to let the film breathe. The biggest change I would make would be what Hal is already doing, so I feel like my edit would be rather superfluous.

JEDIT: There are several references to ships, pilots, and flying in the scene, so it would probably be less jarring if it was more obvious that she was imagining flying a ship. Perhaps compositing her into the cockpit of an imaginary X-wing would sell the illusion and further indicate her unique Force vision ability where she is interacting within the vision itself.