Family dinner was nice. My brother is getting married!! He’s getting married in a church, so that triggered me and now the attacs have made me sick to my stomach so instead of thinking about my brother’s wedding I’m running over my usual atheism/Dillahunty obsession and thinning about how their wedding will be in a church and Oh God I’m so obsessive and anxious. How about being happy for your brother and his sweetheart girlfriend, you piece of shit? My mother, meanwhile “You’re going to worry yourself into an early grave” is worried about me and I’m all “Oh, she’s Catholic!” She’s doing nothing which affects me in any way, shape, form, or fashion, and I’m thinking about a Dillahunty rant about how the church is “evil and full of child molesters and fvck you for saying there’s anything good about it, it’s poison to its core!” (she’s good friends with several priests, good people all) and is a criminal organization and blah blah blah. I feel like a piece of shit. The anxiety and the compulsions are spiking up again, and they’re making me sick to my stomach. I hate myself right now.