Choose the Force. Choose a brown bath robe. Choose a life of contemplative solitude. Choose not to have a family. Choose a laser sword, choose bleeping robots, airspeeders, stolen data tapes and tractor beam controls. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and being a mentor to the son of the guy you left limbless and slowly cooking on the side of a lava lake. Choose a stupid rat tail mullet for the peak years of your career. Choose a hovel, Choose your friends. Choose mind tricks and matching lies. Choose a trip to Alderaan for almost the price of starship. Choose a rubbish alias and wondering if you ever owned a droid and where you put that lightsaber you pinched off that friend you left for dead. Choose sitting on that commode chair watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing senate and council meetings, stuffing jawa juice down your neck. Choose fading away at the end of it all, pishing your last as a ghost in a swamp, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, freak faced, big eared gnome-thing written into the sequel to replace yourself.
Choose your future.
Choose the Force.
I choose not to choose the Force.
I chose something else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you’ve got death sticks?
Apparently I’ve neglected this thread for a year, so never saw this.
But since it got no appreciation at the time, I’m gonna award it the Better-Late-Than-Never Darth Id’s Comment of the Year (2016)!
Well done WinduBeans! Come on down to the Spice Outlet of Kessel to claim your prize!p.s. the Begbie shtick was funny, too. I really missed out.
I’m not sure if this was brought up at the time, but at the end of the credits of the Star Wars: Obi-Wan game for the original Xbox, the (awful) voice actor they got for Obi-Wan gives the Trainspotting monologue in Star Wars format as well.