I’m almost 30, I live with my parents, I’ve fucked up my life, pissed away 30 years and a college education, and work a shitty dead-end job because I’m a cowardly piece of shit.
In terms of evolution, your first and only priority is to survive, and you have done this admirably. People forget that this is most of the test of life, and is pass/fail.
I thought that sounded pretty silly, but after reconsidering it, you’re absolutely right. As much of a failure (royal) you might think you are, you’ve already passed the ultimate test.