logo Sign In

Post #1041402

Author
NeverarGreat
Parent topic
TFA: A Gentle Restructure (Released)
Link to post in topic
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/1041402/action/topic#1041402
Date created
30-Jan-2017, 3:03 PM

Here it is with the truncated line:

https://mega.nz/#!jc0QGAZB!O8P8q_gTpxa5tXwtlk8ypPUEUAc59gUxFrCbpxhwtlc

I gave up trying to turn ‘the weapon’ into ‘their weapon’, so if anyone else wants to take a stab at it, be my guest.

Considering that Leia has some awareness of the First Order’s capabilities, perhaps the crawl needs to more specifically reference a weapon:

Episode VII
THE FORCE AWAKENS

Luke Skywalker has vanished. In his absence the sinister FIRST ORDER has risen in secret from the ashes of the Empire with a weapon of unfathomable power.

Unable to convince the New Republic of this deadly peril, General Leia Organa gathers allies from across the galaxy to form a covert RESISTANCE.

Desperate for her brother’s help, Leia has sent her most trusted pilot on a daring mission to Jakku, where a clue has been discovered to Luke’s whereabouts…

I think it’s somewhat important to let the audience know that they will eventually be dealing with another Death Star-like weapon, so that they can adjust their expectations from the outset. 😉