I love the new mockup about using the deleted scene. I agree about the wipes, and having Snap’s line begin before we cut to him and Leia would be best. I hope this gets spruced up enough to really work well. The good thing is that it would just be a bonus, and nothing really hinges on it for the edit to work.

I agree I’m overthinking the crawl at this point. 😃 I will leave the first paragraph at, “plotting its return to power.”

I will be keeping reference to Luke as Leia’s brother, as a germane reminder to the viewer, but in a more subtle way than the theatrical TFA’s crawl.

Mala, Dominic, try to get along in this thread. Since Disney took over, we’ve all felt the need to be militant about our opinions. We’re probably all still used to being of one radicalized mind about the OUT, and find ourselves in a brave new world full of ambiguity. Let’s try and drop the Dr. Strangelove paranoia.

And I am pretty happy with this being the crawl’s final form:

Episode VII
THE FORCE AWAKENS

Luke Skywalker has vanished. In his absence, the sinister FIRST ORDER has risen in secret from the ashes of the fallen Empire, plotting its return to power.

Failing to convince the New Republic to combat this emerging threat, General Leia Organa gathers allies from the farthest reaches of the galaxy to form a covert RESISTANCE.

Desperate for her brother’s help, Leia has sent her most trusted pilot on a daring mission to Jakku, where a clue has been discovered to Luke’s whereabouts…