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Post #1038551

Author
MalàStrana
Parent topic
TFA: A Gentle Restructure (Released)
Link to post in topic
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/1038551/action/topic#1038551
Date created
24-Jan-2017, 4:49 AM

Hal 9000 said:

Here’s the new crawl. I am working on getting rid of the slight red flicker at the beginning. Very strange, and I don’t know what’s causing it!
https://vimeo.com/200772174
password: crawl

I assume you’ve removed the “last Jedi” since Episode 8 title is known ? Too bad, it was a cool way to finish the crawl. Otherwise the text is good, but I feel there is still room for a little improvement over the vocabulary used. “Fractured” for instance does not seem necessary since it’s already said “ashees”. Or maybe “Fallen Empire” ?