I think these movie versions of TCW are indeed a very enjoyable addition to the SW canon. Henceforth, I’ve used smudger9’s very accurate description of his cuts (found on fanedit.org) to synchonize french subtitles to his first entry of his planned 9 movies series. I leave the link here for french people around who would be interested (the template can easily be used to make english/anything else subs as well, but I won’t do it):
[edit: v1.1 - small corrections] https://mega.nz/#!FpkSRbpT!N6W7zx-BDabI9ASaPZfYzWBWfy91l7E4MLCqHPfYVZE
They are of the same quality as those I’ve made for Hal9000’s SW fanedits (which means many errors of the bluray files have also been corrected). I’ll try to make french subs as well for the other installments (I hope it won’t be as hard, it was even harder than Hal’s Episode 3…).
Now, having rewatched very closely “Army of the Republic”, I found a few issues, among them 2 major plot points, that should be fixed in a v2. What you’ve achieved is very good and convincing but I believe that small changes can really improve the plot. Besides I’ve watched it with someone who doesn’t know the tv series and there was lots of confusion in 2 segments about what’s going on, because in its current form I’m afraid the plot is a little too complex and confused, so I’m merely making suggestions if you are someday willing to revisit your first entry.
So here are a few recommendations in order to smoother the overall subplot (and other small details as well). In chronological order (with the timing as precise as I can).
You probably should move forward this dialogue between Dooku and Grievous, after the kidnapping:
00:39:25s
But of course, the destruction of Kamino will stop the production of clones for good.
The reason is that the Kamino plot is still unclear at this point and it gets away the focused from the Chrysopsis battle which is still going on.
Then, the « clone spy » subplot that you’ve removed still has a few remaining bits that make unclear that Ventress is implied to be the spy in your cut:
00:43:49
Who would betray us for the separatists ?
00:43:52
Excellent question, commandant.
And finally:
One more thing
You can count on us, Sir.
the spy could be anyone.
(and the subsequent shots talking about an inner spy and the mission to be kept secret are also to be removed)
So you should edit the scene that way:
You think someone infiltrated our defenses ?
Possible. It would have to be someone cunning enough and [etc]. It’s time we pay a visit behind enemy lines. We’ll find our answers there.
Understood [generals].
And Obi-Wan and Anakin leave the room. That’s way you get rid of every confusing bit about an inner spy and the remaining dialogues can clearly imply they are talking about Ventress they later confront.
Finally, the Ventress line here after the duel is also problematic regarding the removal of the spy subplot.
00:49:53
So hard to know whom to trust these days.
So I believe you should remove these bits of dialogues that bring confusion for someone not familiar to the tvseries (and even to someone who is). It’s only a few shots and lines to remove I guess but the improvement would be great.
Unrelated, at 00:45:47 I would suggest to trim Grievous ridiculous laugh.
During the surface battle, for greater effect, I would advise you to cut the shot of Anakin under the metal box looking at the droid army (around 01:04:17). It’s a childish element that emphasizes something the audience can easily guess.
Not sure if it’s necessary to use that Yoda’s line here, especially with Anakin, Obi-Wan and Ahsoka who don’t seem to react to the news:
01:12:25
Kidnapped, Master Koth has been.
Here is another unnecessary dialogue (Grievous is the leader of the droid army, he should know the whereabouts of all his ships):
01:17:50
Republicans or Separatists ?
01:17:56
Republicans.
Then, the sequence of Kenoki contacting Grievous is weird because Grievous goes from calling him “Jedi” to “Kenobi”. You should leave “Kenobi” instead of “Jedi” then.
01:18:31
General.
Jedi ! [replace with the original line, “Kenobi”]
So here the subplot would be to target Kenobi, which is not directly related to the Kamino plot anyway. That’s why I also would suggest to remove the dialogue between him and Dooku:
01:28:48 to 01:28:56
General.
Have you made your escape ?
Yes, Master.
Good.
Everything is going as planned.
Well, I thought they were trying to kill Kenobi and Anakin, not to get their ships destroyed and their hostage released (no wonder they lost the war if they are always planning to lose!)…
After that, in order to get a narrative flow that takes quite a time to let the main plot breath, you probably should leave Anakin mentioning that Grievous has disappeared for weeks by reinserting the line you’ve removed:
01:34:05
Since he disappeared [a few weeks ago]
Besides Cody and Rex are now conducting inspection, which means time has passed. It makes more sense to confirm that a few weeks happened since the last Grievous encounter. Especially if Ventress was finding a way to sneak around Kamino in the meantime.
It’s a small detail, but I would cut the “sir, yes sir” which is a little military over the top here:
01:44:10
Understood ?
Sir yes sir !
There is an audio glitch at 01:49:14 (left front channel).
Maybe you should leave « Assassin » when Grievous talks to Ventress at 01:58:26 (there is a noticeable audio cut otherwise).
I would finally suggest to move the Dooku/Sidious sequence at the very end, after Echo and Fives are being promoted Arc Troopers. Not sure about that but maybe it could end the movie with the coming threat of your second movie edit.
What do you think ?