My grandfather’s surgery has been moved to later in January. My mom had him write out a will, she’s pretty convinced it could be the end. Losing him right now might break me beyond repair. God willing, it’ll go well and I’ll get a few more years with him. Saw my dad’s doctor again. He didn’t boost up the Prozac like I was hoping he would, but prescribed something else and gave me a list of psychiatrists to call, which I guess I’ll do on my next day off. The obsessiveness is still circling like a vulture in my head. I had a rousing flu the last few days which had me expelling stuff I ate in third grade, so that was fucking fun. I’m back at work now, stressed as usual. I had a row my brother because I guess that he felt that vomiting and shitting at the same time weren’t sufficient reason for me to monopolize the restroom, and my uncle really went off on my when I confessed that my brother had called me earlier convinced that I was shcidial, and gave me a rather vicious talking to about how I don’t consider the effect I can have on others with my feelings. I get it, but thought it was NOT a good way of approaching things. Anyway, I’m back at work. Oh, yay. My dad and my brother both lost their jobs, and they’re revoking my holiday pay for being Sick.
Good to hear from you again. Just hang in there. Definitely phone up a few of those psychiatrists and find one you really mesh with and can be open with.
I’m sorry that some people don’t have the best grasp of how these things work, and I’m really sorry that this country continually fails people with mental health issues. It’s pathetic and embarrassing and it’s going to get worse before it gets better sadly.
But you just hang in there and keep moving forward, man.