I’m really stressing out over something that I shouldn’t be stressing out over. I’m taking a ton of AP classes this year (and last year) which is difficult but challenging in a fun way…usually. Last year I got a 4.0. This year I have all A’s except one class. I have worked my ass off and I’m gonna be probably ending up with a B+. I know this shouldn’t mean anything since most people I know would love to have even a B in some of their classes. I’m just very worked up over this sort of shit and my parents expect a lot out of me. The most relieving thing is when I remind myself that it literally doesn’t mean shit that I’m getting a B+ in a class. All my friends are nice and try to get a good laugh out of how stressed I always am about my grades. But in a way, now I’m kind of happy that I’m losing the 4.0. A 3.95 GPA with less worrying about perfection sounds a helluva lot better.
I apologize for ranting about a god damn B+. I’m surprised I didn’t delete this post because of how much of an idiot I sound like. I just really don’t want to have people not think I’m smart just because I got one B+.
I got mostly A’s and B’s in high school, with some AP classes in the mix. Then after a few furtive attempts at college, I decided to work my ass off and get a transfer degree with all A’s. It was during one of those late nights that I developed Tinnitus, probably due to stress, which has stayed with me for years.
I guess the moral of the story is that I’d rather have B’s or C’s in all my classes than a lifelong case of Tinnitus. These are the lessons you learn afterwards.