The whole scene is unnecessary honestly. Cut it.
I think the scene is good but the Costume and the Voice need a bit of work…
I think it is a good scene as it establishes Vader as a type of Caged dangerous Animal fueled by Hatred. Palpatine’s / Tarkins pit bull.
But you can tell it did not have a on screen label like some of the other planets so it feels out of place in a way. Either Label them all or get rid of the Labels…
I would lean towards get rid of the Labels.
It also Establishes Vanee from Return of the Jedi.