No, it isn’t cute or funny, and I do need professional help. If it weren’t for my parents’ anti-psychiatry attitudes and my own damn cowardice, I would’ve sought some already.

[JEDIT]

I went ahead and removed both her married name and maiden name from the post in question. I don’t know if it’s possible to alienate her any more than I already have at this point – all the bridges I know about have been thoroughly burned – but I’d rather she not stumble upon the post one day, read it, and think any more ill of me.