Saw my dad’s doctor. He boosted up my SSRI and gave me an anti-anxiety med. Sadly, neither seem to be doing what they should. It’s only been a short time, medication takes a while, I know, but fuck, I hurt. One of those atheist videos I watched eventually led me to one of them going on about abortion, and let’s just say that did NOT help and got my thoughts stuck even more. I tried going out with my friends for a day yesterday, but I can’t even distract myself. I can hardly watch anything on TV and he intrusive thoughts constantly attack me even sitting at dinner with my family. My dad’a doctor offered up a psychiatrist he recommended, which I was nervous but hopeful about, but he’s totally booked until February at the earliest. I really just wish I could stay asleep.