I can’t keep living with this pain.
It’s a crappy trick of biology and culture that makes us think that there is one special and very specific person out there for us. From children stories, through films and novels we see the archetype play out and biologically the bond between people genetically a good match is powerful and bears many of the hallmarks a mental illness. The truth is there are thousands of potentially successful matches for your average heterosexual person and if you were to meet and get over your nerves, in time you would feel the same connection. It just doesn’t feel like that while you are going through it.I recommend an honest and detailed internet dating profile. Patience and maybe seeing less of that friend and more of others. You are primed to start a life with that one individual. It’s not going to happen and hurts so for the sake of your friendship take that hurt away and start looking for someone else to share your life with. I wish you all the best.