LordPlagueis said:
After watching The Phantom Edit, The Cloak of Deception, The Balance of the Force, and the Anti-Cheese Edit, I would say this is my favorite edit of the Phantom Menace.
Nevertheless, I have a few suggestions for L8wrtr if he ever decides to create a second edition of this edit or for any future editor who chooses to base a fan edit on this material.
- Revise Opening Crawl
The Shadow of the Sith opening crawl is an improvement, but the text is long, and there should be three paragraphs rather than four.
A thousand years have passed since the Knights of the Jedi Order all but vanquished their ancient foes, the evil Sith Lords. Now, after generations
of peace, a menace lurks in the shadows of the galaxy.
The greedy TRADE FEDERATION has surrounded the lush planet of Naboo with a fleet of deadly warships, hoping to seize its vast natural resources.
With the newly crowned Queen desperate for help, the Supreme Chancellor has secretly dispatched two Jedi to settle the conflict…
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Cut the sequence where TC-14 informs the Neimoidians the ambassadors are Jedi Knights and then serves drinks to Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan.
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Cut the hologram of Nute Gunray commanding the battle droids to destroy what’s left of the Jedi.
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Restore Obi-Wan’s line, “You were right about one thing, Master. The negotiations were short.”
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Cut the scene where Nute communicates with Queen Amidala on the view screen and restore the throne room scene while trimming some dialogue.
The former scene is visually unappealing, and nothing of significance transpires.
The establishing shot of the palace is beautiful. The distortion in the hologram gives Palpatine’s voice the raspy growl of Darth Sidious. Queen Amidala’s line, “I will not condone a course of action that will lead us to war,” sets up her character as a pacifist who needs to learn violence is unfortunately necessary at times.
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Cut the scene where Sidious informs Nute the senate is bogged down in procedures.
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In the scene where Queen Amidala watches the invasion from the palace window, it is still possible to see the electric cord powering the lights on her dress. Consider cropping the frame to eliminate the cord.
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Cut Qui-Gon saying the battle droids will not be a problem. The line lowers the stakes.
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As the group heads out for Mos Espa, cut Qui-Gon’s line, “No more commands from Her Highness today, Captain,” because the queen never issues any commands.
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Restore the title Darth. Luke refers to Darth Sidious by name in Episode VIII: The Last Jedi. Future spin off films may use the title for characters other than Vader.
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Change the subtitles in Watto’s dialogue with Anakin.
Anakin enters the store right after Watto calls for him, yet Watto asks what took him so long.
WATTO: What took you so long?
ANAKIN: I was cleaning the fan switches.
WATTO: Watch the store. I have some selling to do.
Change these subtitles to
WATTO: Where were you?
ANAKIN: I was fixing the vaporizer.
WATTO: It better be fixed or else I’ll vaporize you.
These subtle changes would lead the audience to despise Watto rather than viewing him as a benevolent slave owner.
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Restore the shot of Jar Jar juggling several items and Qui-Gon saying, “We’re leaving.” It is clear the scene is edited here.
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In the subtitles, Watto should not order Anakin to clean the racks before leaving, considering he never cleans the racks on-screen.
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Cut Anakin’s fight with Greedo and restore Jar Jar’s fight with Sebulba. Although I despise Jar Jar’s antics, the scene sets up Anakin’s rivalry with Sebulba. Greedo’s presence in the film is unnecessary fan service, and the visual quality of Anakin’s fight scene with Greedo is poor.
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Cut Anakin’s “oops” right before he attaches C-3PO’s right eye.
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In the dinner scene, cut Anakin’s line, “I’m the only human who can do it.”
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Incorporate additional music in the pod race.
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Restore Anakin’s goodbye to C-3PO.
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Move the scene where the Probe droid floats across the streets of Mos Espa to right before Qui-Gon slices open the probe droid so that the transition is not as sudden.
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Cut Qui-Gon telling Anakin to take off. Anakin never tells the pilot this. In fact, it is Obi-Wan who tells the pilot to take off.
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Reorder the Coruscant sequence. The flow would improve if Qui-Gon demands to speak with the Jedi Council right before he reports on his attacker and requests for Anakin to be tested. The pacing would also improve if Palpatine suggests a vote of no confidence right before the senate session where Amidala proposes this.
Currently, the sequence is
a. Landing on Coruscant
b. Palpatine’s trap
c. Qui-Gon’s report
d. Senate session
Rearrange this to
a. Landing on Coruscant
b. Qui-Gon’s report
c. Palpatine’s trap
d. Senate session
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Cut dialogue about Anakin being too old to be trained.
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Cut Anakin’s “oops” in the droid control ship.
Sounds more like a plan for another edit and not just a few adjustments. I say make your own edit. I made my own take of the Anti-Cheese edit and now it’s turned into a radical planned edit trilogy. I’ll highly encourage you to try this out for yourself
