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DuracellEnergizer

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Post
#694442
Topic
A New direction for Lucasfilm Animation
Time

Carthage said:

The writing was lazy it was all basically a dream sequence conjured by a Sith ritual by Dooku and Palpatine, based on the supposed "Force bond"between Yoda and Dooku. Nowhere else in cannon does their supposed "bond" exist

LOL. As if canon* means a goddamned thing at this point in the franchise's history.

*The word you're looking for is "canon", not "cannon"; "cannon" is a weapon that goes BOOM!, while "canon" is a ridiculous concept that goes BOOM!

Post
#694440
Topic
What do you HATE about the EU?
Time

Carthage said:

The older look of Orbalisk Bane and Bane in the trilogy has been retconned and replaced with a CGI Shredder clone.

[img]http://starwars.com/img/explore/the-clone-wars/slideshow/ep613/conceptart/darth-bane-clone-wars-613.jpg[/img]

Bane now wields a halberd type weapon

I actually like this look. It's like something that would have shown up in the Tales of the Jedi comics.

And it if that image is accurate enough, it means his weapon has an orange blade rather than a red one; suffice it to say, that would please me immensely.

Anyways, it's a far better look than that stupid "bald Alice Cooper" look he's been sporting for the past couple of years.

Post
#694437
Topic
Star Wars: The New Dawn (The First Episode in DuracellEnergizer's New PT Re-Write) *COMPLETE*
Time

INT. NYAX/BRIDGE

The Force Hound sits upon the command chair with his aide by his side, watching the Light Hammer succumb to the Mandalorian assault on the viewscreen.

MANDALORIAN SENSOR OFFICER: The Imperial dreadnaught is crippled, milord!

FORCE HOUND: (to the communications officer) Order all ships to stand down.

The Mandalorian communications officer relays this command to the other Mandalorian ships. Within moments the attack ends, leaving the crippled Light Hammer floating in space.

FORCE HOUND: (cont'd) Order the Deinonychus to make its descent at the pre-arranged coordinates.

The communications officer relays this to the Deinonychus, and in moments one of the Mandalorian dreadnaughts begins making its descent to the desert planet below.

MANDALORIAN AIDE: All due respect, milord, but we should destroy the Imperial ship and be done with it.

FORCE HOUND: No, Karras, not when there is someone on board waiting to meet us. (rises from his seat) Assemble a boarding party and alert my shuttle to prepare for my arrival.

EXT. TATOOINE - ANCHORHEAD - DOCKING BAY 32 - DAY

Obi-Wan and Anakin exit Docking Bay 32, various bags of luggage with them, and begin crossing the street.

OBI-WAN: Remind me again why we couldn't just leave for Alderaan in the Twilight and spare us from using the fare which will only take us halfway there?

ANAKIN: Like I said, the ship belongs to Watto -- Owen and I simply used it on his behalf to ferry down spice for him. And there's no functional hyperdrive, either -- just try making a trip to the Core on those crappy sublight engines.

OBI-WAN: (sighs) I suppose spending fourteen or fifteen months on Ogana Major won't be that bad ...

ANAKIN: If I could have spared the cash --

OBI-WAN: (waves his hand dismissively) Nevermind that, Anakin. (beat) You get used to the torrential downpours after awhile, anyway.

ANAKIN: (grins) You mean rain? That'll be awesome! I've never seen rain before!

OBI-WAN: After you leave Ogana Major, you'll never want to see it again. (beat) I suppose the rate for taking a taxi to Mos Eisley hasn't changed since I was here last.

ANAKIN: Oh, I don't think so. (beat) When was the last time you were on Tatooine, anyway?

OBI-WAN: Actually, I never --

Before the Jedi can complete his thought, a strange mechanical noise begins to fill the air, growing louder with each passing moment until it becomes a deafening roar, causing everyone in the area to cover their ears with their hands, grimacing in pain. Looking up towards the sky, Ben and Anakin watch as the Deinonychus comes down over the town like a descending bird of prey.

OBI-WAN: (horrified) Oh, no ...

ANAKIN: (yelling over the noise) What is it?!

OBI-WAN: (yelling over the noise) Anakin, run!

Roughly grabbing the young man by his arm, the Jedi knight breaks out into a run up the street. They don't get very far, however, as the Deinonychus begins firing upon the town, obliterating whole buildings with single blasts and killing hundreds in the process. As the townspeople of Anchorhead rush to flee the bombardment, the dreadnaught proceeds to unleash its contingent of Kom'rk-class fighters, all of which descend upon the fleeing masses like a swarm of angry hornets.

Little can be done as the dreadnaught continues to bombard the town and the fighters cut down the townspeople caught out in the open. Within ten minutes, Anchorhead is reduced to nothing more than a smouldering ruin, most of its residents dead or seriously injured.

INT. LIGHT HAMMER/BRIDGE

Inside the Light Hammer's bridge, flickering light playing over him, Bail sits hunched over in his command chair, rubbing his temple to rid himself of a burgeoning headache; Vaness, trying to comfort him, rubs his left shoulder.

BAIL: What a disaster ...

Siri, who alone on the bridge has tried to remain calm and in control of her emotions, begins to grow visibly uneasy.

SIRI: Admiral ...

BAIL: (looks up at the Jedi) What is it, Ms. Tachi?

SIRI: The Mandalorians are boarding us ...

INT. LIGHT HAMMER/DOCKING BAY

A shuttlecraft enters the deserted docking bay of the Light Hammer and touches down on the metal deck. As the hatch lowers, over two dozen Mandalorian Knights begin filling out, the Force Hound himself in the lead.

INT. LIGHT HAMMER/BRIDGE

BAIL: (rises from his seat) If those bucketheads think we're going down easy, they've got another thing coming. (beat) We go down, we take as many of them with us as we can.

INT. LIGHT HAMMER/CORRIDOR

As the Force Hound and his warriors move along the corridor leading towards the bridge, several of the crew members who survived the attack on the Light Hammer leap out of the dark corners of the ship to attack the invaders, opening fire with their blasters. The Force Hound easily avoids the blasts, using the Force to telekinetically hurl and push the Imperials out of his way.

INT. LIGHT HAMMER/BRIDGE

Stepping away from Vaness and the command chair, Bail walks past Siri until he stands facing the sealed door which leads in-and-out of the bridge.

BAIL: Everyone get ready -- company's coming.

INT. LIGHT HAMMER/CORRIDOR

As the Force Hound walks past the defeated Imperials lying sprawled out on the deck below him, his warriors unsheathe their swords and proceed to slay the defenseless soldiers.

INT. LIGHT HAMMER/BRIDGE

SIRI: (unclips her lightsaber) They're here.

BAIL: (unholsters his blaster and adjusts its settings) All right, everybody -- take out your blasters and set them on "kill".

The officers on board the bridge take out their blasters and set them on their commanding officer's ordered setting. Siri engages her lightsaber, holding the fuschia blade before her in a defensive position.

As they stand there, their weapons armed and levelled at the closed door, they begin to sweat profusely as the sound of the door's gears grinding fills the air.

ADNEZZAR: I knew I should have stayed home today.

With a horrible squeal of grinding metal, the bridge door is forced open and the Force Hound steps through.

BAIL: Open fire!

Before most of the bridge officers can obey the Admiral's command, the Force Hound uses his powers to push half of them back, slamming them into consoles and seats and knocking them senseless. The advantage now in his favour, he steps aside to allow his warriors to step through, and they immediately go on the offensive, swords swinging.

The rest of the officers -- Bail and Vaness included -- immediately counterattack firing their blasters, and Siri springs into action with her lightsaber swinging. However, as the Mandalorian Knights are all Force-sensitive and all wield swords of preternaturally durable Mandalorian iron, the counterattack proves less than fully effective.

Rage fueling him, Admiral Bail Organa manages to take out five Mandalorians, killing three of them with precisely aimed and fired shots from his blaster while knocking the other two right out with powerful punches and kicks to vulnerable areas to the body. When one of the Knights slashes his gun arm through the elbow, though, nearly cutting his lower arm off, and sends him hurling into the bulkhead with an incredibly powerful toss, his role in the battle comes to an end.

Commander Raia Vaness, her body toned and honed with years of exercise and training, makes progress against nine of the Mandalorians, killing nearly half of them while injuring the rest. She goes down, though, when one of the Mandalorians manages to strike her in the back of the head with the pommel of his sword, knocking her unconscious.

Swinging her lightsaber, Siri Tachi tries to decapitate one of the Knights, but he quickly brings up his impervious sword, blocking the energy blade. Throwing out a fist, she punches the Mandalorian back instead, then spins around to attack another Mandalorian.

A master sharpshooter, Mr. Solo takes out seven Mandalorians with expertly placed shots to vulnerable areas of their bodies. He can do nothing, though, as a Mandalorian strides past his defenses up to him, shattering his knee with a well-placed kick, and then grabs hold of his face and slams his head back against the edge of the computer console behind him, killing him instantly.

Roaring with intense rage, Dnezzar leaps at the Mandalorian who killed Solo, tackling him to the deck. Grabbing the Mandalorian by the helmet, he begins slamming the warrior's head down over-and-over again until the Mandalorian stops moving. He doesn't get the opportunity to relish his victory, however, as another Knight beheads him before he can even stand back up.

Nebucha dies screaming as he is slammed through a console, electrocuting him.

Eventually, all fall except Siri, who stands before the remaining Mandalorian Knights drenched with sweat and breathing heavily, her fuschia blade glowing with fierce intensity before her.

SIRI: (grits her teeth) Savages.

Rearing her lightsaber back, she pounces, bringing the fuschia blade down towards the closest Mandalorian Knight.

Suddenly she stops in mid-strike, dropping her lightsaber as she utters a sharp gasp. An invisible grip pulls her up into the air and she reaches for her throat, gurgling as she begins to choke.

Pushing past his warriors, the Force Hound walks up to Siri, his right hand raised and clenched into a tight fist.

FORCE HOUND: We'll have no more of that, my dear.

Gurgling, Siri tries once to reach out at him with her left hand, but the intense pressure at her throat immediately dissuades her from the effort.

FORCE HOUND: (cont'd) It's time for you to go to sleep.

Wheezing, Siri's mouth begins to foam up and her eyes roll up into the back of her head. Unclenching his fist, the Force Hound releases his hold on her, allowing her to fall to the deck and breathe once more.

FORCE HOUND: (to the other Mandalorians) She's unconscious. Take her and bring her to the shuttle.

Obeying immediately, two of the Knights rush over to Siri. Pulling her up, they waste no time and move quickly to take her off the bridge.

MANDALORIAN #3: Some of the Imperial dogs are still alive, milord.

FORCE HOUND: Let them live. (beat) Let the rest of the Empire hear the tale of our day's victory from their comrades' own lips. Let them learn to fear the name "Mandalorian" once more.

With that, the Force-sensitive Mandalorians begin filing out of the Light Hammer's bridge, their job complete.

As the last of them exits the bridge, the Force Hound notices Siri's lightsaber lying abandoned on the deck. Reaching down, he picks the weapon up, and holds it up before him. Studying it momentarily, he then lowers it to his side and proceeds to follow after his minions.

EXT. TATOOINE - ANCHORHEAD - STREETS - DAY

The Mandalorians, having landed their fighters, are now searching the ruins of the town on-foot for any survivors, their blasters held at the ready.

INT. DEMOLISHED BUILDING - DAY

Ben and Anakin hide within the interior of a partially-demolished building, crouched down low over a window that looks out into the street. As the Mandalorians appear around the corner, they duck away, returning to the window only once they've passed on by.

ANAKIN: Who the hell are these guys?

OBI-WAN: Judging by the armour, I'd say they're Mandalorians.

ANAKIN: (shocked) Mandalorians? I thought they were wiped out in the First Clone War.

OBI-WAN: Not exactly. Their throneworld was decimated in the civil war that followed the assassination of Mandalore the Destroyer, and their civilization quickly disintegrated afterwards as a result, but various individual pockets survived and continue to exist. (beat) Without central leadership, many Mandalorians have since become pirates, mercenaries, and bounty hunters.

ANAKIN: What are they doing here? Tatooine has nothing of any value!

OBI-WAN: I don't know, Anakin, I honestly don't. (beat) Do you know how to operate a Mandalorian fighter?

ANAKIN: What kind of question is that?

OBI-WAN: A necessary one, because we're going to have to borrow a pair.

ANAKIN: What!?

OBI-WAN Do you have a better idea of getting us out of here? (beat) We can't use a landspeeder -- it wouldn't be fast enough to take us out of here before we were detected and destroyed. And the Twilight's out of the question as well; provided that it wasn't destroyed in the initial attack, it, too, is far too slow to evade the Mandalorian ships. That only leaves us with the fighters, which are incredibly fast, maneuverable craft.

Unable to offer up any better alternatives, Nik raises his hands in a gesture of placation.

OBI-WAN: Alright, then -- follow me.

Together, the Jedi and his ward slowly leave the crumbling building, taking care to look out for Mandalorians. Certain that they won't be spotted, they hurry along their way, staying close to the sides of the buildings while stopping to peer around corners.

Eventually, the pair finds their way to the parked Mandalorian fighters. Unfortunately, stationed on guard are three Mandalorian lookouts. Quickly, the two hide behind the large, fallen corner of a building before they can be seen.

ANAKIN: Great -- guards!

OBI-WAN: Don't worry. They're momentary obstacles at worst.

ANAKIN: Are you gonna take them out with your lasersword?

OBI-WAN: I don't think it'll have to come to that.

Leaning out around the corner of their hiding spot, Ben quickly throws his hand out toward the Mandalorian guards.

MANDALORIAN #4: (hears a sound) Hey, what was that?!

MANDALORIAN #5: (points toward a space between two buildings standing in the distance) It came from over there!

Wasting no time, the three Mandalorians take off to track down and ascertain the source of the sound they heard. Once the armoured warriors have disappeared between the two buildings, Ben and Nik come out of hiding and run up to a pair of waiting fighters.

ANAKIN: (feeling around the hull for an opening mechanism) I don't know how to get it open!

OBI-WAN: (turns to assist Anakin) Here, like this --

As the Jedi goes to help the boy, the Mandalorians who have been making their rounds throughout the demolished ruins of Anchorhead return.

MANDALORIAN #6: Set for "stun"! Fire!

Setting their blasters on "stun", the Mandalorians open fire on the two. Obi-Wan quickly pulls out his lightsaber, engaging the blade and using it to parry several stun-bolts, but in moments he and Anakin are both overwhelmed and taken down for the count.

Approaching the fallen partners, the Mandalorians stand over them, studying them from behind their face-concealing helmets.

MANDALORIAN #6: Inform the Deinonychus that we've caught another two bugs for the Force Hound's collection.

Post
#694366
Topic
What do you HATE about the EU?
Time

I consider the whole state of being a Force ghost akin to being a "real world" ghost -- ie. a spirit unnaturally trapped on the physical plain. While here, they may exist for a long, long time, but they aren't truly immortal and can eventually die/be destroyed.

I think that the only way a Force ghost can achieve true immortality is if he/she/it leaves the physical world completely behind (no more chatting with old apprentices) and completes the journey to the afterlife (becomes one with the Force, in other words).

Post
#694352
Topic
Star Wars: The New Dawn (The First Episode in DuracellEnergizer's New PT Re-Write) *COMPLETE*
Time

Well, the scene in Stargate I'm referencing isn't nearly as gory as my homage to it, so it could be rewritten a bit.

JEDIT: I rewrote the scene to remove the references to "congealed black blood" and the like. It's essentially the same scene, just written from a different point of view. ;-)

Post
#694349
Topic
Star Wars: The New Dawn (The First Episode in DuracellEnergizer's New PT Re-Write) *COMPLETE*
Time

Well, I gave it some thought, and I decided to shorten "The Infamous Scene".

The more gratuitous elements have been removed; instead of having to bear with the Mandalorian beating Zull and tearing at her clothes, it now cuts from the Mandalorian approaching Zull directly to the Force Hound standing outside her cell door listening to her screams.

It nows plays out as a more chilling counterpart to the scene in Star Wars where Vader enters Leia's cell on the Death Star with the torture droid, and -- hopefully -- it's now more in line with the tone and style of the OOT.

Post
#694318
Topic
A New direction for Lucasfilm Animation
Time

I've seen The Clone Wars movie along with eleven of the first twelve episodes from the series (long story short, I couldn't find a decent copy of a certain episode to watch online), and so far I'm finding it a decent show to watch.

I still have obvious issues with it -- PT-style Jedi, limited lightsaber colours, Dooku's lack of anything remotely resembling characterization, etc. -- but so far the only things I find really bad about it are the stupid battle droids and Jar Jar.

Post
#694310
Topic
Star Wars: The New Dawn (The First Episode in DuracellEnergizer's New PT Re-Write) *COMPLETE*
Time

RicOlie_2 said:

I have a few nitpicks once again (that's what I'm best at :)):

1. Holochess is properly termed "dejarik".

Holochess does have its own entry on Wookieepedia apart from dejarik.

http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Holochess

And besides, it's a Star Trek reference; three-dimensional dejarik wouldn't be derivative enough. ;-)

2. They have cassettes in Star Wars?!

 http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Cassette

I personally don't think they're like real-world cassettes, though, with spools of tape and the like.

3. You use a lot of earthisms, which makes sense because they're speaking English and Star Wars is known to do that, but I think you should add some "Starwarisms" as well.

I don't actually see the peoples of the Known Regions speaking English in-universe -- not modern English, at any rate; if they do speak English, it's an English that been evolving off of Earth for thousands of years with heavy influences from alien languages.

You're right, though -- I should be adding more "Starwarsisms". 

For example, instead of Bail calling Wahr Blahr (is that a tribute to Warbler? :D) a "stupid son of a b****", he could call him a "stupid son of a gundark" or a "mynock-brained hair slug [or mynock-brained idiot, if you don't want to make the Starwarisms seem too forced]".

I thought about it, but I wanted to express just how upset Bail was -- making him say something along the lines of what you suggested would have put a damper on the gravity of his emotional turmoil IMO.

And yes, Wahr Blahr is a tribute to Warbler (didn't the sighing give it plainly away?) ;-)

4. Anything graphically violent or of sexual nature that isn't appropriate for kids makes it feel a lot less like Star Wars.

I assume you're referring to the scene where Zull gets attacked by the Mandalorian and/or where she fries his brain in revenge.

Truth is that I never really planned for the rape scene to happen; I was planning to have Zull experience more mundane tortures like in the torture chamber and the like, with any threats of sexual abuse remaining as that -- threats. In the process of development, though, I was having trouble developing her story and bringing her to a point which would logically lead her to embracing the dark side, so -- on the spur of the moment -- I wrote the scene.

I knew it was going to be a controversial issue with the script when I wrote it, and it isn't a scene I found comfortable writing, but I wrote it nevertheless and it'll remain in the script until/unless I can come up with a milder alternative that carries as much emotional weight.

I do like to think that if the scene were realized on the big screen, though, it would rate a PG-13 at worst, with the nastier events left to the imagination to figure out. I don't know it that makes it easier to stomach, but I do like to think that I'm not crossing the boundary between acceptable/unacceptable violence too far with my script.

As for the mind-fry scene, I suppose that could cross the boundary into more R-rated territory; It all depends on how much blood you visualize coming out of his wounds, though (it's a homage to Stargate, though, so I had to put it in regardless ;-)). 

At any rate, you can rest assured that I don't plan on adding any more scenes like these to either the rest of this script or the scripts of my Ep. II & III rewrites to come.

Otherwise, good job. I like the way you portray hyperspace travel and I thought you did a good job getting Anakin off Tatooine. I like that you have Mandalorians and I think the aspects you take from the prequels work well.

Thanks.

As a kid, before seeing the prequels, I envisioned the Mandalorians as being largely non-Force-sensitive rivals of the Jedi who had, for lack of a better term, a blood feud with them. I never got to see these or any Mandalorians whatsoever in the PT, and the subsequent EU watered them down, so I decided to compensate by making Mandalorians -- Mandalorians close to how I originally envisioned them -- the villains in one of my prequel rewrites (they won't be the enemies in my Ep. II or Ep. III rewrites, though; I need to show the infamous Clone Masters and concentrate of Anakin's initiation into the Sith eventually).

As for the prequel bits, I've always felt there was there were a lot of little good bits scattered throughout all the crap; they just needed to be freed from the mire and polished a little.

I have to say I liked the prequels' Kaminoans, but what you did is just fine as well. I wouldn't have missed them if they never happened.

Well, the Kaminoans do exist in my universe -- kind of. Instead of being called Kaminoans and being cloners, though, they're known as the Shipwrights, and they serve as the emissaries for a mysterious civilization from the Unknown Regions who supplies the peoples of the Known Regions with hyperdrive technology. They're basically the SW equivalent of the Dune Universe's Spacing Guild.  

They probably won't be appearing in my prequel trilogy, though.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to the next installment. :)

Pretty soon, the seperate stories of Obi-Wan and Anakin, Siri, and Zull are going to intertwine, and I'm going to introduce Anakin's future wife (she won't be a major character, though; the story already has enough ;-)).

Post
#694288
Topic
The Legend of Zelda
Time

ray_afraid said:

Also, anyone else hate the official timeline? Or ANY time line? I think of most of the games as a retelling of the same legend.

There are supposed to be different Links in different games, right? Each with the same name and basic physical appearance but living in different periods of time? Yeah, it's kind of dumb to fit them all into one history.

Post
#694251
Topic
Star Wars: The New Dawn (The First Episode in DuracellEnergizer's New PT Re-Write) *COMPLETE*
Time

EXT. SPACE - TATOOINE

The Light Hammer sits in low orbit above Tatooine, lazily circumnavigating the diametre of the world without aim.

INT. LIGHT HAMMER/BAIL'S QUARTERS

Admiral Bail Organa and Commander Raia Vaness sit together in his quarters, engaged in a game of three-dimensional holochess.

BAIL: Hmmm ...

CMDR. VANESS: Problem, Admiral?

BAIL: No, not really. This just feels so derivative somehow.

CMDR. VANESS: (frowns) What are you talking about?

BAIL: Nevermind. Make your move.

Vaness makes her move. Once it is complete, she grins with wicked triumph.

CMDR. VANESS: Checkmate, Admiral.

BAIL: (sighs) Fifth game in a row.

CMDR. VANESS: Forty-two, if you want to be precise.

BAIL: Pardon me?

CMDR. VANESS: Well, counting all the games we've played since arriving here, we come to a total score of --

BAIL: (rolls his eyes) Nevermind.

CMDR. VANESS: Want to try for another?

BAIL: Forget it. Just turn the damn thing off.

CMDR. VANESS: (deactivates the holographic chessboards) You do have a problem, don't you?

BAIL: Weeks spent doing nothing but flying circles around a planet gets very boring very fast. (beat) I wish the Mandalorians would just hurry up and show their faces already.

INT. LIGHT HAMMER/BRIDGE

The officers on board the bridge of the dreadnaught go about their duties like machines on autopilot, weariness from boredom etched in their features.

COMMUNICATIONS OFFICER: (stretches his arms) Well, I'm taking a break. (to the weapons officer) Hey, Nebucha, can I borrow your Mermeia cassette again?

NEBUCHA: (annoyed) What, again!?

COMMUNICATIONS OFFICER: C'mon, Nebucha, it's my break!

NEBUCHA: If you're gonna watch it here, you'd better not do that ... thing again, Dnezzar. You take it to your bunk if you want to do that!

DNEZZAR (COMMUNICATIONS OFFICER): Oh, that was a one-time slip up. You know how the boredom gets -- it warps your sense of discretion.

NEBUCHA: (frowns) Yeah, yeah, whatever. (reaches into his tunic and pulls out a cassette) Take it.

Nebucha tosses the cassette to Dnezzar, who catches it gleefully.

DNEZZAR: Thanks, man!

NEBUCHA: (points at the communications officer) Remember -- don't do the thing.

DNEZZAR: (winks) Don't do the thing.

NEBUCHA: (rolls his eyes) Pervert.

With unbridled haste, the communications officer slides the cassette into a port set within his terminal and then picks up a mechanical visor, slipping it down over his eyes.

DNEZZAR P.O.V. - CASSETTE RECORDING

Within Dnezzar's line of sight is a headshot of a beautiful dark-skinned humanoid woman with pink, feather-like hair set against a green, psychedelic background.

MERMEIA: I know you're searching for me. Searching, searching. I am here. My voice is for you alone. I am found in your eyes only. I exist for you. I am in your mind as you create me. Oh, yes ... I can feel my creation. (giggles) I'm getting your message. Are you getting mine?

CUT TO

Dnezzar laid back in his seat, drooling.

DNEZZAR'S P.O.V. - MERMEIA

MERMEIA: Oh, oh! We are excited, aren't we? Just relax. Just relax. Yes! Now ... we can have a good time, can't we?

CUT TO

Dnezzar laid back in his seat, his mouth stretched in a rictus grin of absolute anticipation.

DNEZZAR: Oh, you'd better believe it, baby.

EXT. SPACE

Without any warning, the Nyax and five Jehavey'ir-class assault ships drop out of hyperspace. Without wasting any time, they begin approaching the Light Hammer.

SENSOR OFFICER #1: (bolts upright in her seat) Heads up, people! We've got Mandalorians on our scopes!

Roughly jolted out of his simulated reverie, the visor flies off Dnezzar's face as he almost topples out of his seat.

MR. SOLO: We've got to alert the admiral immediately!

EXT. SPACE - TATOOINE

Slowly but surely, the Mandalorian ships approach the dreadnaught.

INT. LIGHT HAMMER/BRIDGE

The door to the bridge slides open, and Bail and Vaness stride in.

BAIL: (taking his seat on the command chair) What's happening?

SENSOR OFFICER #1: Six Mandalorian ships have arrived, sir. Five Jehavey'ir-class assault ships and one Lictor-class dungeon ship.

The bridge door slides open once again, and Siri Tachi walks on in.

CMDR. VANESS: (turns to Siri) Mistress Tachi, six --

SIRI: (interrupting) Yes, I know -- I sensed their arrival. (to Bail) Can your ship handle them, Admiral?

BAIL: Five Jehavey'irs pack a punch, but they're no match for a Dreadnaught-class heavy cruiser. We'll be sending them home to the ruins of Mandalore just in time for supper. (to Dnezzar) Open hailing frequencies -- issue them our terms of surrender.

DNEZZAR: They're not responding, Admiral.

BAIL: Well, they can't say we didn't warn them. (to Nebucha) Target the dungeon ship and open fire when ready.

NEBUCHA: Yes, sir.

EXT. SPACE - TATOOINE

Without warning, five more ships drop out of hyperspace. These ships are Dreadnaught-class heavy cruisers like the Light Hammer; unlike the Light Hammer, however, these dreadnaughts bear markings which identify them as belonging to the Mandalorians rather than to Alderaan.

INT. LIGHT HAMMER/BRIDGE

SENSOR OFFICER #1: Sir -- five more Mandalorian ships have dropped out of hyperspace!

BAIL: What?!

SENSOR OFFICER #1: They are all dreadnaughts, sir.

CMDR. VANESS: (turns to Siri, frowning) I thought the reports said the dungeon ship only ever came equipped with an escort of two-to-five assault ships.

SIRI: (worried) The reports were wrong.

EXT. SPACE - TATOOINE

The five Mandalorian dreadnaughts suddenly open fire on the Light Hammer. The forward deflector shields catch the worst of the barrage, but the ship still takes a rough beating from the intense yellow turbolaser fire.

INT. LIGHT HAMMER/BRIDGE

The interior of the bridge rattles as the Mandalorian turbolasers strike the ship, causing more than a few of the officers stationed aboard to hold onto their consoles for support.

BAIL: Open fire!

NEBUCHA: Which ship, sir?

BAIL: The closest dreadnaught! Target its primary turbolaser batteries and fire!

EXT. SPACE - TATOOINE

The Light Hammer releases a barrage of green turbolaser fire upon the closest Mandalorian dreadnaught, decimating its primary turbolaser batteries within moments. Unfortunately for the Alderaanian ship, it still is outnumbered and outgunned by the remaining four dreadnaughts and five assault ships, all of which begin firing upon the Light Hammer.

INT. LIGHT HAMMER/BRIDGE

SENSOR OFFICER #1: We're starting to lose power to our rear deflector shields!

CMDR. VANESS: Divert power from the starboard shields!

SIRI: There are too many of them!

DNEZZAR: Admiral, we're being hailed!

BAIL: The Mandalorians?

DNEZZAR: No, sir -- it's the Xuthltan.

BAIL: (incredulous) Wahr Blarh's ship!? (beat) Put him through.

Seconds later, the green nikto's visage appears on the Light Hammer's viewscreen.

BAIL: Whatever you're planning, Captain, don't.

CAPT. BLARH: The Mandalorians have less right to be here than you do, human. I'm going to take out as many of their ships as I can.

BAIL: Are you daft, man?! Your tin cigar can't handle one dreadnaught, let alone five of them!

CAPT. BLARH: (sighs) Goodbye, Admiral.

With that, Captain Wahr Blarh cuts the connection.

BAIL: (erratic) What!? Get him back! Open hailing frequencies!

DNEZZAR: He won't respond, sir!

BAIL: (screaming at the viewscreen) You stupid son of a bitch!

EXT. SPACE - TATOOINE

The Xuthltan speeds up out of Tatooine's atmosphere and over the Light Hammer, opening fire upon the assault ships swarming about the dreadnaught as it passes by. The blasts of blue laserfire aren't enough to damage the ships, but they do gain their attention, and in moments the assault ships leave the Light Hammer to attack the smaller cargo ship.

INT. XUTHLTAN/BRIDGE

As the Mandalorian assault ships release salvo upon salvo upon the cargo ship, various consoles, terminals, and other onboard equipment begin to fizzle, spark, and explode.

CAPT. BLARH: (to the helmsman) Program a micro-jump into the navicomputer.

EXT. SPACE - TATOOINE

As the Jehavey'irs pound the Xuthltan, the Xiytiar-class transport leaps into hyperspace, plowing through and obliterating one of the assault ships in the process. A split-second later, the cargo ship re-enters realspace, materializing directly within one of the intact Mandalorian dreadnaughts. Another split-second later, the combined dreadnaught/cargo ship explodes into a bright fireball, raining debris on the already-damaged dreadnaught the Light Hammer attacked, crippling it completely.

INT. LIGHT HAMMER/BRIDGE

Witnessing the sacrifice of the Xuthltan and its crew, Bail puts his face in his palms, shaking his head with dismay.

EXT. SPACE - TATOOINE

With the Xuthltan no longer around to act as a distraction, the remaining dreadnaughts and assault ships renew their concentrated assault upon the Light Hammer.

Post
#694240
Topic
Star Wars: The New Dawn (The First Episode in DuracellEnergizer's New PT Re-Write) *COMPLETE*
Time

EXT. LARS HOMESTEAD - COURTYARD - DAY

Anakin, Obi-Wan, Nellith, Owen, and Beru stand together outside the entrance dome, each exchanging their farewells.

BERU: (cont'd) I wish you could stay, Nik, but it's your decision, and I want you to know I support you all the way.

ANAKIN: Thanks, Beru. I always could count on you. (tearing up) I'm gonna miss you.

BERU: (smiles through tears) It'll be hard getting used to you not being around. (beat) Goodbye, Anakin.

Anakin and Beru embrace, drawing together in a tight hug.

ANAKIN: You take of Owen, now, hear? Without me around, you'll be the only one around to keep that anger of his in check.

BERU: (laughs) Now you're projecting.

As Nik breaks away from his half-sister, he turns to face Nellith.

ANAKIN: Well ...

NELLITH: Well?

ANAKIN: Are we okay?

In response, Nellith walks over to Anakin, wrapping him in a tight hug.

NELLITH: Oh, Ani, we're more than okay. (kisses him on the cheek) I love you, and there's nothing in this universe that can change that!

ANAKIN: (embarrassed) Mom, I told I didn't want you calling me that anymore. "Ani" is a little kid's name.

ANAKIN: (laughs) Whatever you say, Nik. (kisses him on the forehead) Whatever you say.

Having made their peace, the mother and her son part.

OWEN: (smirks) It won't be the same around here without you, Nik. Good luck, though, kid -- you'll need it.

Grinning ear-to-ear, Nik flashes his friend a thumb's up.

OWEN: (turns to Obi-Wan, his expression growing serious) Well, it's time to say goodbye again, isn't it?

OBI-WAN: Yes, it is. (beat) It's not going to be like the last time, is it?

OWEN: (shakes his head) No, Ben, it isn't.

Without another word, Owen embraces Obi-Wan in a strong hug, patting him roughly on the back.

OWEN: (crying) I'll be seeing you, brother.

OBI-WAN: (returns the embrace, smiling) You too, brother, you too.

Once Owen and Ben separate, the Jedi and his young ward begin walking on over towards the Twilight, which is sitting in wait for them with its hatch lowered.

ANAKIN: (stops and turns to face the others) Once I become a Jedi, I'll come back for you all! I'll find a beautiful water-filled world full of flowering plants to make our home and I'll take you there to live with me! I promise!

Owen, Nellith, and Beru wave farewell to Anakin, and he waves back. Then -- turning around without a look back -- he and Obi-Wan make their way to the Twilight.