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Smithers' Star Wars 2-part Prequel Fanedits

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My Prequels will be edited into two movies, one being a radical edit of TPM and the other being about a half hour of AOTC followed by a completely reordered version of ROTS.

Phantom Menace Changes/Plans (so far):
-100% remove Jar Jar and the Gungans using rotoscoping and image keying
-no “decoy” subplot
-the clone wars start at the end of TPM
-re-dub young Anakin
-re-dub Neimodians
-re-dub Darth Maul
-remove Darth Sidious
-C3PO gets finished and taken to Coruscant
-remove Yoda as a character (preserving surprises)
-add in Count Dooku
-add more Darth Maul
-introduce the clone army as a solution to Naboo’s invasion
-only two battles during the climax rather than four
-Anakin doesn’t go to war as a ten year old kid
-other little changes

AOTC/ROTS Changes/Plans (so far):
-follow same rules as my TPM edit^
-no forbidden love
-less lightsaber fights
-General Grievous is Darth Maul (re-dubbing and special effects)
-Anakin’s turn is more gradual and understandable
-Anakin doesn’t kill children
-Mace Windu’s lightsaber is blue
-Mace Windu is a complete dick
-Palpatine doesn’t electrocute himself until he becomes a genital wart
-no Jango Fett
-other little changes
-change/add in new versions of Anakin’s nightmares
-Padme doesn’t die
-new ending

Many more major changes to the stories are coming, but I just want to make sure they actually work out before announcing them everything in the list above will be happening for sure.

Here are the videos I’ve uploaded over the course of the edit (in order of upload date):

This post has been edited.

Prequel Fan-Edit thread: http://originaltrilogy.com/topic/Yet-another-series-of-prequel-edits/id/17329

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Can't say Smithers, as I'm only getting the dreaded small 'x' instead of the image.  Are others actually seeing the pic.?

 

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Alright, I've got my first draft of the script for the phantom menace. I am (so far) re-writing these characters:

  • KI-ADI
  • ANAKIN
  • JAR JAR
  • BOSS NASS
  • OTHER LESS IMPORTANT CGI CHARACTERS (except for watto)
  • NEIMODIANS (all of them)

In this series I wish to:

  • remove Yoda (he looks terrible in the PT and barely contributes to the story)(P.S. I know the special effects will be anoying to pull off but it will be done)
  • make Ki-Adi-Mundi more of an actual character (add dialouge and make him sort of a replacement for yoda when you need him for certain dialouge)
  • Make Jar Jar Binks less annoying looking and acting and sounding (voice replacement, graphical changes, complete removal from tatooine as he serves no purpose being there)
  • completely replace Anakin's voice with another kid's voice
  • most of the things that the other edits wish to do

This post has been edited.

Prequel Fan-Edit thread: http://originaltrilogy.com/topic/Yet-another-series-of-prequel-edits/id/17329

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Completely replace Anakin? Sounds ambitious, but with the primitive digital cameras used for these films your footage may stick out like a sore thumb.

“After a time, you may find that having, is not so pleasing a thing after all, as wanting. It is not logical, but it is often true.” - Spock
"People who alter or destroy works of art and our cultural heritage for profit or as an exercise of power are barbarians." - George Lucas

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That's completely true. I've already been testing which cameras I have and what software I should use to get this to look good. Although I may be able to pull a george lucas and just slap his head on the original body for some scenes. Also a lot of the scenes with Anakin are close up shots so I may be able to pull it off a lot easier (note that I am only replacing the kid anakin). 

EDIT: nope, it will indeed not be working as planned, you called it ;-)

This post has been edited.

Prequel Fan-Edit thread: http://originaltrilogy.com/topic/Yet-another-series-of-prequel-edits/id/17329

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 I will not be green-screening little Annie because [as Handman called it ;-)] the footage doesn't look quite right, the garin and colors do not match up unless you make the footage look completely unnatural. However Yoda will still be 100% removed with special effects and tedious editing, KI-ADI-MUNDI will fill in for him whenever needed in the council room. I am also using special effects to make Mos (Espa or Eisley?) look less like it has a ton of CGI crap all over it (pretty much just like theatrical ANH). Added some more info. to the first post btw :)

Prequel Fan-Edit thread: http://originaltrilogy.com/topic/Yet-another-series-of-prequel-edits/id/17329

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Is there any progress on these Smithers? Your ideas sound very interesting. Good luck!

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So I've been messing around with TPM quite a bit recently, and analyzing the film, and I think I've figured out a way to 100% remove the gungans but keep the rest of the story intact. A little while back, Andreas talked about completely re-arranging TPM to improve the story and the narrative, the idea was to start the movie off in the queen's royal ship before they end up marooned on tatooine. After toying with this idea, I realized that afterwards our protagonists would go back to Coruscant, then to Viceroy's ship, then to Naboo. But since they only go to Naboo at the end, they haven't even met the gungans, so they can go into the space battle, qui-gon and obi-wan battle maul, and the rest battle droids in the building! Now of course this would take some rotoscoping and other special effects not to mention re-incorporating deleted scenes, but I already had planned on doing all of those things. Thoughts?

Prequel Fan-Edit thread: http://originaltrilogy.com/topic/Yet-another-series-of-prequel-edits/id/17329

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Honestly, there is nothing really required to remove the Gungans beyond cutting their scenes. You skip the entire underwater sequence at the beginning, and cut immediately to sneaking into the city after landing back on Tatooine. Then cut all of the ground battle sequences and instead jump between Anakin flying, the Maul fight, and Padme getting to the Viceroy.

I had an idea for something similar to what you're suggesting for your edit but never got around to it:

Use this crawl (or something similar):

It is a troubled time across the galaxy. Interstellar corporations have preyed upon the greed that has bred in the underbelly of the Galactic Senate. More and more star systems are finding their rights infringed upon and their pleas for help falling on deaf ears. Corruption is everywhere. On the small planet of Naboo, things have escalated to a full scale invasion. The Trade Federation has taken total control in an attempt to further entrench themselves in nearby systems. Receiving news of the plight of her people, the Queen of Naboo is returning home after an unsuccessful audience with the Galactic Senate. Having been secretly granted the assistance of two Jedi Knights, the warrior guardians of peace and justice in the Republic, she races back to rally her people against the Trade Federation before their freedom and their way of life is destroyed...

Start the film with the Naboo cruiser escaping the blockade - replace planet Naboo in these shots with Coruscant. Following this, Tatooine is mostly unchanged (with the exception of removing small bits saying their destination is Coruscant). Darth Maul can even be left pretty much in tact. They get to Naboo from Tatooine, land in the forest, people from the city show up. Proceed with the rest of the film (again, cutting out the gungan sequences) Possibly insert the scene of Anakin going to say goodbye to Padme from Coruscant after the battle, assuming it takes place on Naboo.

Some people call them Force Ghosts. I call them Midichlorian Swarms.

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I was actually going to keep their destination as coruscant, the movie starts of with them escaping the blockade, their destination is coruscant because they're bringing the queen there for the election. Throughout the first two acts of the movie you keep hearing about the planned invasion on Naboo so in the third act, Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon go to take down Viceroy, then go down to Naboo and battle Maul.

Prequel Fan-Edit thread: http://originaltrilogy.com/topic/Yet-another-series-of-prequel-edits/id/17329

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Smithers said:

I was actually going to keep their destination as coruscant, the movie starts of with them escaping the blockade, their destination is coruscant because they're bringing the queen there for the election. Throughout the first two acts of the movie you keep hearing about the planned invasion on Naboo so in the third act, Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon go to take down Viceroy, then go down to Naboo and battle Maul.

 I definitely prefer this to the constant assertions that people are dying and suffering on Naboo somewhere. The threat of an invasion is much more interesting than an invasion that lasts the whole movie and is toothless.

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I will once again bore you all to death with my preferred sequence of events.

In ANH there is constant reference to the Rebel Hidden Base and the plans so it makes sense that the final destination of the film is Yavin and the use of the plans to destroy the Death Star. The characters all follow a path to that single destination which results in an action packed end sequence.

I would have Padme on Coruscant representing her people with representative Binks and trying to prevent an invasion diplomatically at the beginning of the film. Have some transmission on the Queen's secret channel cut off and disputed as nonsense in the senate but supported by some Jedi (Dooku, Qui-Gon) with resistance (Maceinyourface Windu). She then heads off home and is shot down over Tatooine. They pick up Anakin after winning the parts to repair the ship and then rescue the significantly damaged planet by Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon landing on the droid command ship fighting droids and finally facing Maul in the reactor room. Obi-Wan shuts down the droid army or sends a full report to the senate and escapes before Anakin purposefully destroys the ship, everyone celebrates and they eat barbecued Jedi Master...

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When the student is ready, the Master speaks?

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Bingowings said:

I would have Padme on Coruscant representing her people with representative Binks...

 Sorry Bingo, you lost me there. JK ;)

But in all seriousness, I'd rather have our protagonists be upset that they are stuck on Tatooine while their home planet gets invaded, it adds more suspense to the story. Screw Jar Jar, I'm rotoscoping him out of these movies, he's going to be completely gone, there's no way to preserve that abomination without leaving viewers cringing at the sight of him lol. Interesting idea though, my idea for the opening is that it should Mirror ANH in that it starts off with a battle in space where our heroes are losing and have to escape to Tatooine (where they meet our other protagonists)

Prequel Fan-Edit thread: http://originaltrilogy.com/topic/Yet-another-series-of-prequel-edits/id/17329

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Bingowings said:

I will once again bore you all to death with my preferred sequence of events.

In ANH there is constant reference to the Rebel Hidden Base and the plans so it makes sense that the final destination of the film is Yavin and the use of the plans to destroy the Death Star. The characters all follow a path to that single destination which results in an action packed end sequence.

I would have Padme on Coruscant representing her people with representative Binks and trying to prevent an invasion diplomatically at the beginning of the film. Have some transmission on the Queen's secret channel cut off and disputed as nonsense in the senate but supported by some Jedi (Dooku, Qui-Gon) with resistance (Maceinyourface Windu). She then heads off home and is shot down over Tatooine. They pick up Anakin after winning the parts to repair the ship and then rescue the significantly damaged planet by Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon landing on the droid command ship fighting droids and finally facing Maul in the reactor room. Obi-Wan shuts down the droid army or sends a full report to the senate and escapes before Anakin purposefully destroys the ship, everyone celebrates and they eat barbecued Jedi Master...

If you've stated this series of events before I must have somehow missed it. I love it, I think it'd be much better. The question is, is it possible?

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DominicCobb said:

Bingowings said:

I will once again bore you all to death with my preferred sequence of events.

In ANH there is constant reference to the Rebel Hidden Base and the plans so it makes sense that the final destination of the film is Yavin and the use of the plans to destroy the Death Star. The characters all follow a path to that single destination which results in an action packed end sequence.

I would have Padme on Coruscant representing her people with representative Binks and trying to prevent an invasion diplomatically at the beginning of the film. Have some transmission on the Queen's secret channel cut off and disputed as nonsense in the senate but supported by some Jedi (Dooku, Qui-Gon) with resistance (Maceinyourface Windu). She then heads off home and is shot down over Tatooine. They pick up Anakin after winning the parts to repair the ship and then rescue the significantly damaged planet by Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon landing on the droid command ship fighting droids and finally facing Maul in the reactor room. Obi-Wan shuts down the droid army or sends a full report to the senate and escapes before Anakin purposefully destroys the ship, everyone celebrates and they eat barbecued Jedi Master...

If you've stated this series of events before I must have somehow missed it. I love it, I think it'd be much better. The question is, is it possible?

I think it could be done but on the sort of intensive reworking level that Ady uses rather than just shuffling the existing scenes.

As I've said elsewhere when I watched the first trailer for TPM I assumed that the duel with Maul took place on a spaceship and that Padme telling everyone to get to their ships would take place in the same time that the earlier hanger scene took place. TPM (Naboo, Tatooine, Coruscant, Naboo) seems to go around in circles when it really needs to go in a straight line (for me Coruscant, Tatooine, Naboo).

As for Jar-Jar George made two big mistakes there. One the whole Stepin Fetchit thing which sort of makes me wonder if George has some sort of condition in that he let that and all the other ethnic tropes pass (cowardly sneak attack by slit eyed robot obsessed industrialists... from the guy who owes so much to Japanese culture that was weird).

The other was just making him a clown instead of giving his clumsy actions a story/character grounding. I would make him a full representative of his people so re-dubbing him to be eloquent and mannered but out of his depth when it comes to physical activity. Not many politicians would be graceful in a war zone (a fish out of water).

Having the Federation fleet vanish leaving one ship behind seemed weird too.

But this is clearly not the direction this edit is going so I'd continue talking about it over here.

When the student is ready, the Master speaks?

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Work in progress crawl for TPM:

After centuries of peace, the intergalactic slave trade federation has begun attacks on small star systems in an attempt to gain control over the galaxy.

The Queen of the Naboo system has managed to flee her home planet along with two Guardian Jedi Knights by her side. 

Queen Amidala must arrive at the Republic system of Coruscant to prevent further attacks from the Slave Trade Federation and restore peace to the galaxy...

Thoughts?

Prequel Fan-Edit thread: http://originaltrilogy.com/topic/Yet-another-series-of-prequel-edits/id/17329

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Here's a quick rewrite, if it's any help. Just spit-balling; not trying to say it's any better necessarily. Also, I think the term "intergalactic" implies that they operate across multiple galaxies. 'Intragalactic' might sound somewhat strange, so maybe a different title would fit better. 

It is a time of foreboding for the galaxy. After centuries of peace, many isolated star systems have been attacked by the intergalactic Slave Trade Federation.

Queen Amidala of the peaceful planet Naboo has managed to escape her home system with the assistance of two Jedi, guardians of peace and justice in the Galactic Republic.

To prevent further oppression from the Federation, she must venture to the galactic capital to plead for intervention to save her people and restore peace to the galaxy....

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I would call her "Queen Padme Amidala" and just cut the whole decoy storyline.

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Hal 9000 said:

Here's a quick rewrite, if it's any help. Just spit-balling; not trying to say it's any better necessarily. Also, I think the term "intergalactic" implies that they operate across multiple galaxies. 'Intragalactic' might sound somewhat strange, so maybe a different title would fit better. 

It is a time of foreboding for the galaxy. After centuries of peace, many isolated star systems have been attacked by the intergalactic Slave Trade Federation.

Queen Amidala of the peaceful planet Naboo has managed to escape her home system with the assistance of two Jedi, guardians of peace and justice in the Galactic Republic.

To prevent further oppression from the Federation, she must venture to the galactic capital to plead for intervention to save her people and restore peace to the galaxy....

 Mm, much better actually, fits in well with the rest of the series and mirrors ANH more, I like it. And about the word "Intergalactic" I'll have to agree, it doesn't roll off the tongue properly and just sounds like a cheesy sci-fi serial.

Prequel Fan-Edit thread: http://originaltrilogy.com/topic/Yet-another-series-of-prequel-edits/id/17329

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Another rewrite:

It is a time of foreboding for the galaxy. After centuries of peace, many isolated star systems have been attacked by the Slave Trade Federation.

Queen Amidala of the peaceful planet Naboo has managed to escape her home system with the assistance of two Jedi, guardians of peace and justice in the Galactic Republic.

To prevent further oppression from the Federation, she must venture to the galactic capital of Coruscant to plead for intervention to save her people and restore peace to the galaxy....

Prequel Fan-Edit thread: http://originaltrilogy.com/topic/Yet-another-series-of-prequel-edits/id/17329

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Sounds good to me. The opening crawl is a potential pitfall in fan edits in my mind, even though the official crawls have a few oddities too. The crawl should look and read well, since it's really the audience's first impression of the edit.

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